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Hale & Pace | Season 9
© 1986 London Weekend Television
Hale & Pace was the comedy sketch show of Gareth Hale & Norman Pace which first hit UK screens in 1986 and went on for 12 years. During its run, it spawned a number of popular and oft-quoted characters and provided some equally memorable spoof musical numbers. It got funnier as time went on which is why we start slowly and build up!
UPDATED: | CLIPS: 58
WARNING: ADULT CONTENT!
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PLAY ALL 58 CLIPS IN THE RANDOMISER™ |
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Clip 1 S09 E01 |
It's awful when you can't get a babysitter and have to miss out on special occasions as a result. But that's a small price to pay for having children, in my opinion. |
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[A man sits solemnly alone at a restaurant table set for two] |
Waiter |
Special occasion, sir? |
Man |
Yes. My wife's birthday, actually. |
[He raises his glass in a toast to his absent companion] |
Happy birthday, darling. |
Waiter |
Has she, um... passed away? |
Man |
No. We couldn't get a babysitter. |
Clip 2 S09 E02 |
Just goes to show, you should never make assumptions based only on what you hear. |
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Father |
Come on, Thomas. Quick, quick, quick, before Mr. Pooey-Plops arrives. |
Thomas |
Da-ad! |
Father |
Look, last time we end up with Mr. Pooey-Plops in our pants, didn't we? And we didn't like that, did we? There we are, then. Pants down, up on the seat, and a big squeeeeeeeeze! Goodness, Mr. Pooey-Plops has brought all his friends along this time, hasn't he? There we are then, let's give it a wipe. Then pants up, and, "bye-bye Mr. Pooey-Plops!" |
[Toilet flushes] |
Bye bye! |
Thomas |
Dad? |
Father |
Yeah? |
Thomas |
I want to go as well. I don't need you! |
[THOMAS goes back into the cubicle and closes the door, leaving his father stood outside] |
Clip 3 S09 E03 |
Hmm. The least said about this, the better. It makes a mockery of the British justice system. Which, in fact, is about as broken as it's possible to get. So crack on and mock it! |
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Prosecutor |
You've been found guilty of seventeen separate counts of male prostitution, Mr. James Possit. Twenty-eight Kings Street, South-East London. |
James Possit |
That's not my address. |
Prosecutor |
No. It's mine. I'll be home about seven-thirty. |
Clip 4 S09 E04 |
Hmm. I guess that's the risk you take with a mail-order bride, isn't it? Number 357 could well have a c*ck and balls as well as a winning smile and nice pair of breasts. |
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Man |
Got myself a Filipino bride, 'cause they said that Eastern women made you feel a real man. They were right. She's a transsexual. |
