14 MP3 Audio clips from Ghostbusters (1984)

PLAY ALL 14 CLIPS

Clip 1

Being paid to participate in a study on ESP ability sounds good. But five dollars to be repeatedly and painfully electrocuted? I'll pass, thanks.

Male Student

HEY! I'm getting a little tired of this!

Peter Venkman

You volunteered, didn't you? We're paying you, aren't we?

Male Student

Yeah, but I didn't know you were gonna give me electric shocks! What are you trying to prove here, anyway?

Peter Venkman

I'm studying the effect of negative reinforcement on ESP ability.

Male Student

The effect? I'll tell you what the effect is. It's p*ssing me off!

Peter Venkman

Well, then maybe my theory is correct!

Male Student

You can keep the five bucks. I've had it.

Peter Venkman

I will, mister!

Clip 2

Poor Alice. One moment she's quietly and efficiently returning books to the library basement and the next... she's being asked all sorts of awkward questions by Peter Venkman.

Peter Venkman

Alice, I'm gonna ask you a couple of standard questions, okay? Have you or any member of your family ever been diagnosed schizophrenic, mentally incompetent?

Alice

My uncle thought he was St. Jerome.

Peter Venkman

I'd call that a big yes. Are you habitually using drugs, stimulants, alcohol?

Alice

No.

Peter Venkman

No, no. Just asking. Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?

Library Administrator

What has that got to do with it?

Peter Venkman

Back off, man. I'm a scientist.

Clip 3

Symmetrical book-stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947. Would that be the place or the cream cheese? Because if it's the latter, it always gives me turbulence, too.

Raymond Stantz

Symmetrical book-stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.

Peter Venkman

You're right. No human-being would stack books like this.

Raymond Stantz

Listen! Do you smell something?

Clip 4

Trust Ray. The others are doing their best to talk the Real Estate Agent down on price but Ray can't contain his excitement. He loves the old fire station and he can't wait to move in!

Real Estate Agent

There's office space, sleeping quarters and showers on the next floor and there's a full kitchen on the top level.

Peter Venkman

It just seems a little pricey for a unique fixer-upper opportunity, that's all. What do you think, Egon?

Egon Spengler

I think this building should be condemned. There's metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is sub-standard, it's completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighbourhood is like a demilitarised zone.

Raymond Stantz

Hey, does this pole still work? Wow, this place is great! When can we move in? You gotta try this pole. I'm gonna get my stuff.

Clip 5

Janine is the new secretary / receptionist for Ghostbusters Inc. She's got that New York drawl and doesn't take sh*t from anybody. Just what the boys need.

Peter Venkman

Janine, any calls?

Janine Melnitz

No.

Peter Venkman

Any messages?

Janine Melnitz

No.

Peter Venkman

Any customers?

Janine Melnitz

No, Dr. Venkman.

Peter Venkman

It's a good job, isn't it? Type something, will you? We're paying for this stuff. Don't stare at me. You've got the bug eyes. Janine? Sorry about the "bug eyes" thing. I'll be in my office.

Clip 6

Dana Barrett is their first client. But they have to give the impression that they know what they're doing. Which they do. In a manner of speaking.

Peter Venkman

There are some things we do. Standard procedures in a case like this, which often bring us results.

Raymond Stantz

I could check out the structural details in the building. Maybe the building has a history of psychic turbulence.

Peter Venkman

Right. Good idea.

Egon Spengler

I could search "Zuul" in the usual literature. Spates Catalogue, Tobin's Spirit Guide.

Peter Venkman

I'll take Miss Barrett back to her apartment and check her out.

[VENKMAN realises what he just said]

I'll go check out Miss Barrett's apartment.

Clip 7

Venkman has gone with Dana Barrett to her apartment, recently the scene of some terrifying paranormal activity. Peter hopes that some other activity is on the cards...

Dana Barrett

That's the bedroom. But nothing ever happened in there.

Peter Venkman

What a crime.

Clip 8

Dana Barrett's refrigerator. Home to some true horror. Not what she saw taking place the last time she opened it. No. Mainly her choice of food. I'm amazed she's not diabetic!

Peter Venkman

Oh, my God. Look at all the junk food.

Dana Barrett

No. Goddamn it! This wasn't...

Peter Venkman

You actually eat this stuff?

Dana Barrett

This wasn't here. There was nothing here. There was a space and a building with flames coming out of it. There were creatures writhing around, and they were growling and snarling. And there were flames, and I heard a voice say, "Zuul." It was right here.

Peter Venkman

I'm sorry, I'm not getting any reading.

Dana Barrett

Well, are you sure you're using that thing correctly?

Peter Venkman

Well there are no... I think so. But I'm sure there are no animals in there.

Dana Barrett

Well, that's great. Either I have a monster in my kitchen, or I'm completely crazy.

Peter Venkman

I don't think you're crazy.

Dana Barrett

Oh, good. That makes me feel so much better.

Clip 9

The telephone has finally rung. They have a customer. A posh hotel with a free-floating, full-bodied apparition manifesting on the twelfth floor. Janine is a little bit excited about this one!

Janine Melnitz

Hello, Ghostbusters. Yes, of course they're serious. You do? You have? No kidding. Well, just give me the address. Yes, of course. Oh, they'll be totally discreet. Thank you. WE GOT ONE!

Clip 10

The important thing when strapping an unlicensed nuclear accelerator to your back, is the the unit has been thoroughly tested. If it hasn't been, you're probably better off not touching it.

Raymond Stantz

You know, it's just occurred to me we really haven't had a completely successful test of this equipment.

Egon Spengler

I blame myself.

Peter Venkman

So do I.

Raymond Stantz

Well, no sense worrying about it now.

Peter Venkman

Why worry? Each of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.

Raymond Stantz

Yep. Well, let's get ready. Switch me on.

[SPENGLER activates STANTZ'S pack and he and VENKMAN move as far away from him as possible in the tight confines of the elevator]

Clip 11

When someone says, "it's bad," you can safely assume that nothing they're about to say can hold a candle to total protonic reversal. Now THAT would be bad. In all sorts of ways!

Egon Spengler

There's something very important I forgot to tell you.

Peter Venkman

What?

Egon Spengler

Don't cross the streams.

Peter Venkman

Why?

Egon Spengler

It would be bad.

Peter Venkman

I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?

Egon Spengler

Imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.

Raymond Stantz

Total protonic reversal.

Peter Venkman

Right, that's bad. Okay, important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

Clip 12

Egon is worried. In terms everyone can understand, they're dealing with a Twinkie thirty-five feet long and weighing around six-hundred pounds. Now that's a big Twinkie!

Egon Spengler

I'm worried, Ray. It's crowded in there, and all my recent data points to something big on the horizon.

Raymond Stantz

What do you mean by, "big"?

Egon Spengler

Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. According to this morning's sample, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six-hundred pounds.

Winston Zeddmore

That's a big Twinkie.

Clip 13

Peter's dream has come true. Dana wants him inside her. But it's not really Dana, is it? Dana's been possessed by the Gatekeeper. This is going to be a challenging shag.

Dana Barrett (as the "Gatekeeper")

Take me now, sub-creature.

Peter Venkman

We never talk anymore. Easy. I make it a rule never to get involved with possessed people. It's more of a guideline than a rule. You know, I can -

Dana Barrett (as the "Gatekeeper")

- I want you inside me.

Peter Venkman

Go ahead. No, I can't. Sounds like you got at least two people in there already. Might be a little crowded.

Clip 14

It's the big show-down between the Ghostbusters and Walter Peck, the slimy agent from the Environmental Protection Agency. Just who's going to get the upper hand?

Mayor

Hey, and where's this Peck?

Walter Peck

Peck. I am Walter Peck, sir, and I am prepared to make a full report. These men are consummate snowball artists. They use sense and nerve gases to induce hallucinations. People think they're seeing ghosts, and they call these bozos who show up to deal with the problem with a fake electronic light show.

Raymond Stantz

Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by d*ckless here.

Walter Peck

They caused an explosion.

Mayor

Is this true?

Peter Venkman

Yes, it's true. This man has no d*ck.