8 MP3 Audio clips from Raising Arizona (1987)

PLAY ALL 8 CLIPS

Clip 1

There was a time when this dialogue would have been laugh-out-loud ridiculous but now there actually ARE men who claim to get menstrual cramps. What a world we live in, huh?!

Prison Counsellor

So why do you use the word "trapped"?

Inmate

Huh?

Prison Counsellor

Why do you say you feel "trapped" in a man's body?

Inmate

Well, sometimes I get the menstrual cramps real hard.

Clip 2

Kids. Sometimes they make you smile. Sometimes they make you laugh. Sometimes they make you cry. And sometimes they take their sister's nappy off and put it on their head.

Dot

Riley! You take that diaper off your head! You put it back onto your sister!

Riley

[Laughs]

Clip 3

Just what does Glen have against Polish people? He just can't help himself. Every other sentence is some kind of jibe against people from Poland. It's racial discrimination. That's what it is.

Glen

Say, that reminds me. You hear about the person of the Polish persuasion? He walks into a bar and got this big 'ol pile of sh*t in his hand and he says, "Hey! Look what I almost stepped in!"

Clip 4

Swinging. Wife-swapping. Open marriages. Is it just me who thinks that it's inherently wrong and decidedly warped? Well, no. No. It's not just me. Because H.I. apparently feels the very same way.

Glen

The thing about Dot is... and she told me this. She thinks... she thinks you're cute.

H.I.

Yeah?

Glen

I'm crappin' you negative. And I could say the same thing about Ed.

H.I.

What are you talkin' about, Glen?

Glen

What am I talkin' about? I'm talkin' about sex, boy. What the hell you talkin' about? I'm talkin' about l'amour. I'm talkin' that me and Dot are swingers. As in, to swing. I'm talkin' about wife-swappin'. I'm talkin' about what they call nowadays, "open marriage." I'm talkin' about -

[H.I. punches GLEN to the ground]

Clip 5

H.I. has just held up a convenience store. He's on the run. And when he commandeers an old-timer's pick-up wearing a stocking over his face, the old-timer just can't figure out what's happening.

Hayseed

Son, you've got a panty on your head!

Clip 6

Gale and Evelle have a big job planned. A bank job in La Grange. And what they need is H.I. who is a dab hand with a scatter gun to help them to control the farmers while they steal the money.

Evelle

That there's a picture of El Dorado, Hi.

Gale

Though the locals call it the Farmers and Mechanics Bank of La Grange. Looks like a hayseed bank. Tell you the truth, it is a hayseed bank. Except for the last Friday of every financial quarter, there's more cash in that bank than there are flies at a barbecue.

Evelle

And guess what day it is tomorrow.

Gale

When all the hayseeds come in and cash their farm subsidies cheques.

Evelle

A1 information, Hi.

Gale

Got it in the joint from a guy named Lawrence Spivey, one of Dick Nixon's undersecretary of agricultures.

Evelle

He's in for soliciting sex from a State Trooper.

Gale

Ordinarily we don't associate with that type of person, but... he was tryin' to make a few Brownie points with some of the boys.

H.I.

Boys, I can't!

Clip 7

I have never and would never rob a bank but I would imagine you need a clear plan with equally clear instructions for customers and staff alike. Which is a pity for Gale.

Gale

All right, you hayseeds, it's a stick-up! Everybody freeze! Everybody down on the ground!

Hayseed

Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? I mean to say, if I freeze, I can't rightly drop, and if I drop, I'm gonna be in motion. You see?

Gale

Shut up!

Hayseed

Okay, then.

Gale

Everybody down on the ground!

Clip 8

Gale has told everyone to get down on the ground, right? So why is he surprised when the tellers have also disappeared from view?

Gale

You wanna fill this up, partner? We gotta... Sh*t! Where did all the tellers go?

Disembodied Voice

We're down here, sir.

Evelle

They're over there on the ground like you commanded, Gale.