6 MP3 Audio clips from The Voices (2014)

PLAY ALL 6 CLIPS

Clip 1

Mr. Whiskers is an a**hole. It's not often I say that about a cat but this one... yeah. Grade A a**hole. Of course, it's not actually the cat talking. It's all in Jerry's mind.

Mr. Whiskers

What you doing, Jerry?

Jerry

Something for work.

Mr. Whiskers

Those a**holes give you homework now?

Jerry

Trying on a shirt for tomorrow. They got something that they want me to do.

Mr. Whiskers

A shirt? Shouldn't that be a straitjacket?

Jerry

Shut up!

Mr. Whiskers

You act like they're doing you a favour letting you work there, like they should be able to fu*k you in the ass without lube whenever they want. Like some big privilege, letting you work for free on their picnic.

Clip 2

It's Mr. Whiskers again. Trying to build Jerry's self-esteem. No. No, he's not. He's being an a**hole again. Mocking Jerry for his choice of potential girlfriend. Someone should get that cat fixed.

Mr. Whiskers

Did you fu*k the b**ch?

Jerry

I don't have to answer that.

Mr. Whiskers

And you'll never fu*k her either because you disgust her.

Jerry

Shush.

Bosco

Yeah, shut up, cat.

Mr. Whiskers

She's from England, Jerry. In her eyes, you're a ridiculous peasant.

Jerry

Oh. Oh. Yeah. Guess what? I'm not a peasant, Mr. Whiskers, hmm?

Bosco

I'm thinking that this is a real good time for a walk, Jerry?

Jerry

I think that's a fantastic idea.

Mr. Whiskers

You're out your league. She drinks tea in carriages and fu*ks men with names like Nigel or Aidan or Lord Ribblesdale. Not Jerry Hickfang.

Bosco

Go choke on a hairball.

Mr. Whiskers

Cat hater.

Jerry

Come on, Bosco. Let's go, buddy. Come on.

Clip 3

Yep. Mr. Whiskers again. There's a pattern emerging here. The only really funny bits in this movie centre around a rude, obnoxious and abusive cat!

Jerry

I got a date with Fiona on Friday night, from England.

Mr. Whiskers

Well, fu*k... me! I'm an a**hole. I apologise, man. You were right. Cat food's in the kitchen, Jer, and I can't open the can. I don't have thumbs.

Clip 4

Jerry has killed Fiona. It's a "pretty bad situation", which is understatement of the century. Luckily, Bosco has his back. And so does Mr. Whiskers, actually. Who knew?!

Jerry

It's okay, Bosco.

Bosco

Pretty bad situation, buddy.

Jerry

I know.

Bosco

Maybe the best thing to do is just, um, go to the cops and explain everything.

Jerry

Just tell them what happened?

Bosco

Mmm, yeah.

Jerry

I think you're right. Be good to get it off my chest. If I wait, it'll be a million times worse. Thanks, Bosco.

Mr. Whiskers

You are both so fu*king naïve. You go to the cops and you say, "Hey, man, I accidentally stabbed that English chick." Oh, oh, oh! You think they'll all nod and understand the way your stupid dog does?

Jerry

I don't know.

Mr. Whiskers

Well, I do know. They're gonna throw your ass in jail where tattooed meth addicts will butt-fu*k you daily for 15 years to life.

Bosco

You're a good man who made a mistake. Nobody is gonna rape you, Jerry.

Clip 5

Fiona is dead. No, she really is. Her severed head which talks to Jerry from inside his refrigerator? All in his mind, man. He hears her voice but those lips aren't moving.

Fiona

Jerry! Je-rry!

[JERRY opens the refrigerator door to reveal FIONA'S talking, severed head]

Jerry

Hi, Fiona.

Fiona

Look what you did to me.

Jerry

I'm so sorry.

Fiona

Friday, I had a pretty cushy gig. Had lots of friends. I was the office hottie. Now I'm a severed head in a fridge. Sucks to be me, Jerry.

Jerry

What can I do about it now?

Fiona

Take the meds, you useless wa*ker. Take them. Take them!

[JERRY downs a handful of his anti-psychotic medication]

Fiona

See? That wasn't so hard, was it?

[JERRY slams the door of the refrigerator shut]

Clip 6

Jerry's returned home. Bosco's pleased to see him. Mr. Whiskers? Not so much. He has other things on his mind. Food, mainly.

Jerry

Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?

Bosco

I wanna smell a crotch, Jer.

Jerry

Come here! Hey! Sit!

Mr. Whiskers

Where the fu*k's my food, fu*k-face?

Jerry

Oh, the best night of my whole life.

Mr. Whiskers

Food!

Jerry

Hey, Mr. Whiskers.

Mr. Whiskers

Food! Now! I left you a little gift on the sofa. A reminder why you can't leave us alone without food.