10 MP3 Audio clips from The Big Lebowski (1998)

PLAY ALL 10 CLIPS

Clip 1

The Dude has just returned home to his apartment where some thugs are waiting for him in the mistaken belief that he's someone he's not.

[A THUG grabs THE DUDE and drags him, screaming, to the bathroom where he thrusts his head into the toilet bowl]

Thug

Where's the money, Lebowski? I want that money, Lebowski. Bunny says you're good for it. Where's the money, Lebowski? Where's the money, Lebowski? WHERE'S THE FU*KING MONEY, SH*THEAD?!

The Due

Oh, it's uh... oh... oh... it's down there somewhere. Let me take another look.

Thug

Don't... fu*k... with us. Your wife owes money to Jackie Treehorn. That means you owe money to Jackie Treehorn.

Woo

Ever thus to deadbeats, Lebowski.

[WOO begins to urinate on the rug]

The Dude

No, no... don't do th... not on the rug, man!

Thug

See? See what happens, Lebowski? You see what happens?

The Dude

Nobody calls me Lebowski. You got the wrong guy. I'm The Dude, man.

Thug

Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski. Your wife is Bunny.

The Dude

My... my... w... my wife? Bunny? Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I'm fu*king married? The toilet seat's up, man.

Clip 2

Bunny. Married into wealth but basically filthy. Not as in unclean but... well, she's a porn actress who likes to take her work home with her. If you catch my drift.

The Dude

You're Bunny.

Bunny

I'll suck your c*ck for a thousand dollars!

Brandt

[Laughs]

Wonderful woman. We're all... we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.

Bunny

Brandt can't watch though. Or he has to pay a hundred!

Brandt

[Laughs]

That's marvellous!

The Dude

I'm just gonna find a cash machine!

Clip 3

Walter is somewhat competitive when it comes to bowling. He gets VERY antsy if someone doesn't play by the rules. VERY antsy.

Smokey

Gimme the marker, Dude, I'm marking an eight.

[WALTER pulls out a gun]

Walter

Smokey my friend, you're entering a world of pain.

The Dude

Walter, man...

Walter

You mark that frame an eight, you're entering a world of pain.

Smokey

I'm what?

Walter

A world... of pain.

Smokey

Look Dude, I don't.. this is your partner.

Walter

Has the whole world gone CRAZY? AM I THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE WHO GIVES A SH*T ABOUT THE RULES? MARK IT ZERO!

The Dude

They're calling the cops man, put the piece away.

Walter

MARK IT ZERO!

The Dude

Walter... put the piece away. Walter?

Walter

YOU THINK I'M FU*KING AROUND HERE? MARK IT ZERO!

Clip 4

Jesus Quintana. Yes, that's really his name. And he's creepy in more ways than one. He's got slicked-back hair, likes to lick bowling balls and exposes himself to children. Scum.

Walter

My point is -

Jesus Quintana

Are you ready to be fu*ked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fu*k you up.

The Dude

Yeah, well, you know, that's just like, uh, your opinion, man.

Jesus Quintana

Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy sh*t with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, and stick it up your ass and pull the fu*king trigger 'til it goes "click."

The Dude

Jesus.

Jesus Quintana

You said it, man.

Clip 5

Maude Lebowski is an artist whose art has been commended as being "strongly vaginal". I'm not sure how art can be vaginal and neither is The Dude.

Maude Lebowski

My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal. Which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.

The Dude

Oh yeah?

Maude Lebowski

Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say. Whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his "d*ck" or his "rod" or his "Johnson."

Clip 6

Walter is angry with Larry. And he decides to take out that anger on Larry's car. One small problem, though. The car doesn't belong to Larry. As Walter is about to find out.

Walter

HERE YOU GO LARRY. YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS? YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY? YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FU*K A STRANGER IN THE ASS, LARRY! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY. YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY? YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FU*K A STRANGER IN THE ASS? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS. YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY? YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY WHEN YOU FU*K A STRANGER IN THE ASS? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY.

Man

MY CAR!

Walter

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY!

Man

STOP IT!

Walter

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY!

Man

MY CAR! MY BABY! STOP!

Walter

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FU*K A STRANGER IN THE ASS!

Man

WHAT THE FU*K YOU DOING, MAN? STOP IT!

Walter

Oh, hey! Hey, man!

Man

I BOUGHT THAT FU*KING CAR LAST WEEK!

Walter

Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah!

Man

I'M GONNA FU*KING KILL YOU! I JUST BOUGHT THE FU*KING CAR LAST WEEK!

Clip 7

Maude is showing The Dude a porn film. Logjammin' starring none other than Bunny. But, as with most pornos, the story line is frankly ridiculous. As is the dialogue.

Karl

Mein name ist Karl. Ich bin expert.
(My name is Karl. I am expert.)

Bunny (as Sherry)

You must be here to fix the cable.

Maude Lebowski

Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.

The Dude

He fixes the cable?

Maude Lebowski

Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.

Clip 8

Ever underlined someone else's argument? If you're accused of using too many curse words, your reply perhaps shouldn't be, "What the fu*k you talking about?"

The Stranger

There's just one thing, Dude.

The Dude

And what's that?

The Stranger

Do you have to use so many cuss words?

The Dude

What the fu*k you talking about?

The Stranger

Okay, Dude. Have it your way.

Clip 9

Jesus Quintana. I mean, we already have good reason to dislike him. He didn't need to go the extra mile to cement it, really. For a registered sex offender, he's sure got a big mouth.

Walter

This is not a worthy -

Jesus Quintana

HEY!

Walter

- adversary.

Jesus Quintana

WHAT'S THIS DAY OF REST SH*T? WHAT'S THIS BULLSH*T? I DON'T FU*KIN' CARE! IT DON'T MATTER TO JESUS. BUT YOU'RE NOT FOOLIN' ME, MAN. YOU MIGHT FOOL THE FU*KS IN THE LEAGUE OFFICE, BUT YOU DON'T FOOL JESUS. THIS BUSH LEAGUE PSYCHE-OUT STUFF. LAUGHABLE, MAN - HA HA! I WOULD HAVE FU*KED YOU IN THE ASS SATURDAY. I'LL FU*K YOU IN THE ASS NEXT WEDNESDAY INSTEAD. WOOO! YOU GOT A DATE WEDNESDAY, BABY!

Clip 10

We're talking about Jesus Quintana again. Well, Walter is. Donny is confused by the word, "pederast" And if you don't know what it means then I suggest you carefully Google it.

The Dude

Fu*kin' Quintana... that creep can roll, man.

Walter

Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.

The Dude

Yeah.

Walter

No, he's a sex offender. With a record. He served six months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight-year-old.

The Dude

Oh!

Walter

When he moved to Hollywood he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast.

Donny

What's a... pederast, Walter?

Walter

Shut the fu*k up, Donny.