10 MP3 Audio clips from Stripes (1981)

PLAY ALL 10 CLIPS

Clip 1

Russell is going nowhere. Literally. He's reached a dead-end, trying to teach English to immigrants on the poor side of town. But how bad can it really be?

Russell

Okay, I know you're anxious to jump right in and start speaking English but there are just a couple of things I need to know first because... I've never done this before. So, how many of you would say you speak English fairly well but with some difficulty?

[His students gaze back at him uncomprehendingly]

A little English?

[A student raises his hand]

Yes, you speak some English?

Student

Son of b**ch. Sh*t!

[The entire class copy this phrase parrot-fashion]

Clip 2

A wealthy Dowager is causing John a major headache from the back seat of his cab. But there's more than one way to exact revenge when you literally don't care about the consequences.

Dowager

I've never gone this way before.

John

Well, I'm sure there's a lot of ways I've gone that you haven't.

Dowager

What is your name? John... Wringer? What kind of a name is Wringer?

John

Winger. I'm adopted. I spent most of my life in institutions.

Dowager

Doesn't surprise me. You look like a typical low-life character to me.

John

Actually, I'm a photographer. I took this job because I love people. There's nothing I like more than meeting someone like yourself and getting to know you and then taking a few action photos of you while I drive.

[John grabs his SLR, turns in his seat and starts taking action photos of the Dowager who is, frankly, terrified]

Dowager

You stop! Turn around, watch the road! Turn around, stop with the pictures. FACE THE ROAD!

John

Thank you so much.

Dowager

Aren't you going too fast?

John

Oh, it's not the speed really, so much. I just wish I hadn't drunk all that cough syrup this morning, you know? Oh, no...

Dowager

Just keep your eyes on the road and slow down.

John

No. Not killed!

Clip 3

John's only hope of getting in shape and living to the age of thirty is to join the Army. He knows that. Russell has another suggestion but there's a good reason why it's not possible.

John

The Army is my only chance.

Russell

You could join a monastery.

John

Did you ever see a monk get wildly fu*ked by some teenage girls?

Russell

Never.

John

So much for the monastery.

Clip 4

In the dark old days, this was a question you were asked before you joined the military. Like your sexual orientation had any bearing on your ability to fight for your country. Good answer, Russell!

Recruiter

Are either of you, uh... homosexuals?

John

You mean, like flaming, or...

Recruiter

Well, it's a... it's a standard question we have to ask.

Russell

No. We're not homosexual but we're willing to learn.

Clip 5

Your first uniform issue included underwear. And there were two choices. Boxer or jockey. Neither of them were comfortable. Or flattering. Or sexy. But John wants to do something about that.

Storesman

Boxer or Jockey?

John

Got something in a low-rise? Bikini? Mesh, if possible.

Clip 6

It's introductions time. Francis Sawyer is next up and he has some warnings for his fellow recruits. Warnings which make him about as popular as a ham sandwich at a Bar mitzvah.

Psycho

The name's Francis Sawyer. But everybody calls me psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you.

John

Oooooh!

Psycho

You just made the list, buddy. And I don't like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you.

Sergeant Hulka

Lighten up, Francis! You're all in this together. One of these men may save your life one of these days, you understand that?

John

Then again, maybe one of us won't.

[The BCT recruits laugh]

Clip 7

Captain Stillman is watching female recruits showering through a pair of binoculars from his office window. I mean, did the US Army never hear of frosted glass or blinds?

Captain Stillman

[Chuckling]

Oh... oh, God... look at that. Wash off the soap, that's right. Wash... oh. Look at that. Bend over... drop the soap... God, that's good. Oh God, I wish I was a loofa. Look at that, that's... those muscles. Oh. Ohhh! I didn't know they could do that!

Clip 8

Russell is having a dream. It involves someone he doesn't want to stop doing what they're doing, that he's reassuring he'll still respect and encouraging to use more whipped cream. Hmmm...

Russell

No. No, don't stop. Don't stop. I'll still respect you. I'll respect you even more. Just use more whipped cream.

Clip 9

Russell is quitting. John can't have that. So he comes up with a scenario which promptly backfires. Apparently, Russell's sister is ... easy.

John

Russell, what if the Russians were raping your sister?

Russell

Come on, you know my sister. You practically raped her one night. The Russians wouldn't have to force her, they'd just have to buy her dinner.

Clip 10

In order to escape from Czechoslovakia, the platoon must bust through a blockade. With Sergeant Hulka clinging on to the roof of the EM-50 for dear life. It's FUBAR.

Stella

There's something blocking the road. HANG ON!

Russell

HANG ON!

Sergeant Hulka

I'm gettin' too old for this sh*t!