11 MP3 Audio clips from Season 7 of Robot Chicken (2005)

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That car on the titanic that Jack and Rose "christened" from the back seat? You ever wonder who owned that car and how they would have felt at it being defiled like that?

Man

If I'm going down with the Titanic, I'm going to die in my motor car. Like a gentleman of wealth and distinct -

[He sits down on the back seat and immediately recoils in horror]

I JUST SAT IN JIZZ!

He-Man shouted this every episode. Did you ever consider how annoying that was to his neighbours? Did he ever spare a thought for them? No. Apparently not.

He-Man

BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL... I HAVE THE POW-ER!

Neighbour

Well, could you not have the power at 3am? SOME OF US HAVE TO WAKE UP IN THREE HOURS! FOR FU*K'S SAKE.

Superman came from Krypton as a baby, sent to Earth by his father Jor-El to be a god amongst men. But how did a pre-weaned baby survive such a long and arduous journey alone? Hmm? Yeah. Exactly.

Jor-El

Our baby will be safe now. On Earth he'll be a god amongst men.

[JOR-EL fires the baby into space in his protective capsule]

Lara

To think you found a way to stock enough food and oxygen to last his long journey.

[There's an awkward pause]

Jor-El

I just shot a dead baby into space.

You ever asked someone a question and then immediately regretted it? Marcy has. She asked her father for some advice on boys. What she got was... well, it was a freak show.

Father

Is everything okay, Marcy?

Marcy

Not really, Dad. Four years of college and I still don't know how to talk to boys.

Father

Just... tell 'em what's in your heart.

Marcy

Like what? What would you say if you liked a girl?

Father

[Laughs]

Well, I haven't thought about women since your mother passed but... I'll try.

[He picks up a pillow and begins speaking to it]

I like you and I'm wondering if you feel the same.

Marcy

Cool! Thanks, Dad.

Father

And then she'd say, "I'm in my early twenties but I like older men." And then maybe I'd French her young mouth. Like this...

[He begins to tongue the pillow]

Oh... oh, girl that works at Costco. You like things in bulk, don't ya? I'll give you something in bulk, all right. Oh! Oh, you like getting slapped with my membership card, you dirty slut? Oh, who's your friend? She works checkout? Check out these giant balls, baby. Two girls, one guy. I like these odds. One ball per girl. Oh, girls of Costco. YES! OH YES! OH, GIRLS OF COSTCO!

[He makes orgasmic sounds and then regains his compsure]

I'm sorry. I got a little carried away.

Marcy

Can you help me burn my bed?

I love a sketch which is basically an elaborate play on words. Take this one, for example. A bi-polar, bipolar, bi Polar Bear. Hurrah!

Scientist

The escaped animal is a Polar Bear with the ability to survive in the Arctic and Antarctic. It exhibits massive mood-swings like that of a manic depressive and has equal sexual desires for both males and females.

Colleague

Dear God! Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?

Scientist

That's right. A bi-polar, bipolar, bi Polar Bear.

Colleague

That is very stupid.

SeaQuest DSV. Remember that? Darwin the dolphin? I mean, the animal could TALK. But why did they choose this frankly ridiculous voice for him? Anyone?

Darwin

Lucas... Darwin have question for you.

Lucas Wolenczak

What is it, Darwin?

Darwin

Was this the only voice left in the a**hole store? 'Cos Stephen Hawking wouldn't tell your mom to suck his d*ck with this voice.

Lucas Wolenczak

Oh. Do you want to go back to Sea World?

Darwin

No, no, no! We cool. We cool.

Remember that pink Pringle-style jumper you wore as a kid? The one with the navy blue inserts? Well, what if your gran didn't knit it, but bought it at a store. What store would that be?

Grandmother

Hello, I'm looking for a gift for my grandson's birthday. Do you carry sweaters that don't fit and are fu*king stupid?

A rift has developed between two opposing factions of Disney princesses and there is no resolving it without bloodshed. They must go to war. It is the only way.

Snow White

We need weapons.

Cinderella

I've got a guy.

[The FAIRY GOD-MOTHER suddenly appears]

Snow White

Oh, good idea. We'll fight them with magic.

Fairy Godmother

[Dumping a sack full of weapons on the table]

Bibbidi bobbidi boo. That's twenty grand.

Ariel

Do you need thingamabobs? I've got thingamabobs.

Jasmine

Nobody cares about the dildo collection you dredged up from the Atlantic, you fishy b**ch.

[ARIEL runs crying from the room]

Anyone else have cold tits?

A shooting star. It's an amazing and romantic spectacle. But what if it were a drive-by shooting star? Not quite so romantic then, huh?!

Man

Look, Honey. A shooting star.

Woman

Awwwww!

[The SHOOTING STAR flies closer. We see that he's armed with an automatic weapon]

Shooting Star

Domino, mother-fu*kers!

[He takes out the couple with a volley of gunfire]

Sesame Street does Blade. Yes, those much-loved characters are vampires, fighting it out with Wesley Snipes in Club Blood.

Boy

Oh, nice character intro. How long you been waiting here watching me sh*t myself?

Voice

Get him!

[BLADE pins THE COUNT up against a wall and pulls out a grenade]

The Count

1... 2...

Blade

Stop counting.

The Count

That was a play-by-play. I just p*ssed and sh*t in my own pants.

I guess Rapunzel would have had no means or time to conduct a little... trimming whilst imprisoned in the tower? Ready to have your childhood ruined? Okay, press play!

Flynn Rider

So... Rapunzel. Does the carpet match the drapes?

Rapunzel

You tell me. You just climbed up the carpet.