9 MP3 Audio clips from Season 6 of Robot Chicken (2005)

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Boys naturally seek their father's advice about all sorts of things. Which is great. Except when fathers get completely the wrong end of the stick and start discussing THIS on a walk through the park.

Boy

Dad... do you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?

Dad

You mean from the collection of smegma around the head of my uncircumcised penis?

Boy

WHAT THE HELL?! NO!

Dad

Well, it's natural, son. Smegma's the build-up of fatty deposits given off by skin cells.

Boy

Oh, Dad... stop! I'm gonna puke!

Dad

Which congeal around the penis glans, like... well, cottage cheese.

Boy

What the fu*k is wrong with you?

Dad

Which is why I use... Smeg-Away.

Boy

Dad, I meant feeling fresh and awake in the morning. I'm having trouble getting up in the morning.

Dad

Oh. Well, Smeg-Away is not going to help with that.

Boy

I KNOW!

Dad

YOU'D BETTER NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT MY SMELLY D*CK!

DeVry University is ranked 342^nd in America and 865^th in the world. Little wonder The Scarecrow wasn't too happy to receive his diploma from The Wizard of Oz.

Wizard

And for you, Scarecrow... a brain.

Scarecrow

DeVry University? If you wanna call me an a**hole, do it to my face.

Wizard

You're an a**hole.

Disneyland. The Happiest Place on Earth™. But I'm not sure that Walt Disney had THIS in mind when he said that. It's a place for happy times, not happy endings.

Narrator

Disneyland is a magical place that's fun for the whole family. Even teenagers. Because at Disneyland, there are dozens of secret places for young people to give each other hand-jobs. Come ride The Many Adventures of Winnie The Pooh and when you exit, make a left at the water fountain and find the perfect nook to give or receive a hand-job. Fill your Hand-job Passport with stamps from locations like behind the dumpster next to the Matterhorn, under the baby changing station in Critter Country or under the President's desk in Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln. Because as Walt Disney said...

Walt Disney

Disneyland is the Happiest Place on Earth™ for teenagers to jizz all over each other's young hands.

This is what it must be like to be a DJ on Heart FM in the UK. Same songs, all day, every day. I'd probably shoot myself in the head, too.

DJ

And that was La-La-La-La-La-La-La-La-La-La-La, smurfing up the charts. Before that, we heard La-La-La-La-La-La-La-La-La. Now, at number eighty-four, here's La-La-La-La-La-La-La.

Jingle

♪ La-La-La-La, Smurf Radio ♪

[The DJ cocks a firearm... and shoots himself in the head]

Remember those Read-Along books you used to get when you were a kid? Well, imagine if Gary Glitter, Jeffrey Epstein or Jimmy Saville were put in charge of writing them. Jesus... imagine that!

Unicorn

[Whinnies]

Welcome to my book. When you hear my magical unicorn noise...

[Magical unicorn noise]

... you'll know it's time to turn the page. Let's try it.

[Magical unicorn noise]

What a lovely day to prance through the forest. Say, do you hear voices?

[Magical unicorn noise]

Those kids look like they're having fun. But I know how to make it even more fun.

[Magical unicorn noise]

Ha ha ha! Come and get your clothes. If you can!

[Magical unicorn noise]

Wanna have fun like us? Maybe you should lose those clothes.

[Magical unicorn noise]

Really! Get those clothes off.

[Magical unicorn noise]

I'm dead serious, kids.

[Magical unicorn noise]

[Whinnies]

There you go.

[Magical unicorn noise]

Know what's also fun? Licking this book.

It's a gritty, black and white, film noir crime movie. A man knocks on a door. A flap opens and he's asked for a password. Well, what would YOU say?

Speakeasy Man

What's the password?

Man

Password?

Speakeasy Man

No.

Man

1-2-3-4-5?

Speakeasy Man

No.

Man

Do you have a dog?

Speakeasy Man

Yeah. Her name's Muffin.

Man

Is the password Muffin?

Speakeasy Man

Yes, it is! Come on in!

Bear-alis. The roofie especially formulated for bear sex. Want to fu*k a bear? Then reach for Bear-alis.

V/O

You never know when the mood for bear sex will strike. But when it does, be ready with Bear-alis, the roofie formulated especially for bears. Bear-alis is the only animal tranquiliser pill proven to work fast and last a long time. So you can fu*k that bear right away and then, after you've had time to re-boner, go for the deuce. Ask your doctor about Bear-alis. Side-effects may include sudden death from an inadequately tranquilised bear and / or nausea and suicidal thoughts at the realisation you just fu*ked a bear against his or her will.

I've never stopped to think about it but... yeah. Goofy and Clarabelle being a couple is decidedly weird. Inter-species relationships are wrong, folks. Just plain wrong.

Minnie

So, Goofy... did your parents take it okay when you told them you and Clarabelle are... together?

Goofy

Well of course, Minnie! Why wouldn't they?

Mickey

Because she's a cow and you're a dog. It's... it's... un-natural.

Donald

Somebody finally said it!

Goofy

But, gosh, guys... there... there isn't anybody like me out there.

Mickey

Well, there's Pluto.

[PLUTO is... cleaning himself]

Goofy

I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.

City Slickers would have been a very different movie if Robot Chicken had written the screenplay. Thank God they didn't is all I can say.

Curly Washburn

When you've been out here as long as I have, out on the prairie, just you and nature and the sky... you learn that it's all about one thing.

Mitch Robbins

What's your one thing?

Curly Washburn

I fu*k cows.