11 MP3 Audio clips from Meet the Feebles (1989)

PLAY ALL 11 CLIPS

Clip 1

Bletch is the producer and he's "over the side" with Samantha. In fact, he and Samantha are getting it on when Heidi comes knocking on his office door.

[We hear SAMANTHA and BLETCH in sexual ecstasy]

Heidi

Bletch!

[She hammers on the office door]

Bletch

Oh, sh*t! I was just about to pop my cookies!

[HEIDI continues to hammer on the door]

Clip 2

Trevor is a rat. I mean he's actually a rat. But he's also an a**hole. And when Robert introduces himself, he gets short shrift. Oh and Robert can't pronounce his Rs.

Trevor

What are you doing here, pin cushion?

Robert

Oh, uh... I was just watching the chowus.

Trevor

Hey, you're that new boy here, aren't you?

Robert

Yes! I am. I just started today. I'm Wobert.

Trevor

You may be "Wobert" to your friends, but you're fly sh*t to me. P*ss off!

Clip 3

Having insulted Robert, Trevor turns his attention to Lucille who is the newest member of the chorus.

Trevor

Oh, that Lucille's got a cute tushy. I wouldn't mind giving her a poke with the old pork sword.

Clip 4

Bletch is about to play golf. His caddy for the day is Barry. Barry is a bulldog. And a misogynist with no respect for his good lady wife.

Bletch

How's your handicap, Barry?

Barry

She's at home... baking a cake, Boss.

[The pair laugh]

Clip 5

Cedric is a Scottish warthog who wears leather chaps. Yes. You did read that right. I know, I know. But just go with it...

Cedric

This is a lovely course. I'm tempted to join the club myself.

Bletch

No chance of that I'm afraid, Cedric.

Cedric

You mean they discriminate against Scots?

Bletch

No. We just don't like a**holes in the clubhouse.

Clip 6

Dennis is an anteater with a penchant for sniffing panties. You couldn't make this stuff up, could you? Only somebody did. Obviously.

[DENNIS is in the laundry room, sniffing the gusset of ladies' panties when TREVOR pops up]

Dennis

Well, what do you know... it's Dennis on a "smelly minge-binge."

Clip 7

Trevor needs a new male co-star for his latest pornographic movie. Someone to star alongside Daisy. And that gives him an idea...

Trevor

Dennis does Daisy take one. Okay, Dennis. Drop your strides.

Dennis

Uh, oh...

Trevor

Oh come on, come on... the camera's rolling.

Daisy

Oh for Christ's sake...

[TREVOR pulls the anteater's trousers down and we see that he's really not enjoying himself]

Daisy

Is that the best you can do? Trevor, DO something about this guy.

Trevor

Come on! Get aroused!

Dennis

I can't!

Daisy

Well, I'm not doing anything until he cracks the fat.

Trevor

What's the matter? Doesn't she turn you on? Ah... here you go...

[He hands DENNIS a pair of used panties]

Trevor

... will these help?

Daisy

Oh... God. Not another panty-sniffer. He's gonna want me to p*ss in his mouth, next!

Trevor

Okay, kid. Do your stuff!

[He pushes TREVOR on top of DAISY and we hear an awkward sexual encounter unfold]

Clip 8

Arbi is a contortionist. Sebastian is rehearsing his act for the live show. But it doesn't go well.

Sebastian

All right then, Arbi. Thrill me!

[Indian music begins to play and ARBI begins to contort]

Hippy sh*t!

[Part-way through the act, ARBI loses his footing and his head ends up stuck up his... well, his...]

Arbi

Oh dear!

Sebastian

Are you all right up there?

Arbi

I seem to have stuck my head up my rectum!

Clip 9

Following a sexual matinée, Heidi is eager to provide her lover with a second helping. Bletch is not quite so keen on the idea of a repeat performance.

Heidi

Hello, Bletch!

Bletch

Heidi! What the hell are you doing here?

Heidi

Congratulations. The show is a wonderful success.

Bletch

Whadda you want?

Heidi

Our encounter this afternoon was so brief. I thought you might like a... second helping?

Bletch

Heidi! For Christ's sake put your dress back on.

Heidi

Come and sit next to me.

Bletch

If it's too hot for you, I can turn on the air conditioning.

Heidi

I'm hot, Bletch but not the way you think. You're not feeling shy, are you, Bletch? Do you remember that time in Paris? We didn't leave the hotel for three whole days.

Bletch

I remember, all right. I had to go to the hospital with severe chaffing.

Clip 10

Sebastian has been rehearsing this performance for months and with the other cast members either dead or incapacitated, he decides to go ahead with it.

♪

Sebastian

Sodomy!
You must think it very odd of me,
But I enjoy the act of sodomy.
You might call the wrath of God on me,
But if you tried it then you might agree,
That you enjoy the act of sodomy.

Don't worry if you feel ashamed,
It's been around for years.
Thousands more than can be named,
Are interested in rears.
Don't worry about Hell,
No harm will come to your soul.
We're not all Pentacostal,
But everybody's got an arsehole.

Let me tell ya' 'bout sodomy,
You must think it very odd of me,
But I enjoy the act of sodomy.
You might call the wrath of God on me,
But if you tried it then you might agree,
That you enjoy the act of sodomy.

It might just improve your sex,
It's a hard act to follow.
The fact that fundamentalists,
Find difficult to swallow.
So join me as I sing,
Of an activity that's fun.
Open up your ring,
And try it front to bum,
Bum-bum,
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum.

Sodomy!
You must think it very odd of me,
But I enjoy the act of sodomy.
You might call the wrath of God on me,
But if you tried it then you might agree,
That you enjoy the act of sodomy.
Sodomy!

♪

Clip 11

If Bletch is anything to go by, homophobia is alive and well. I'd not heard this expression before (I think I've led a fairly sheltered life) and it did make me laugh... but from disbelief.

Bletch

Trevor?

Trevor

Yes, Boss?

Bletch

I want that fudge-packer eliminated.