7 MP3 Audio clips from The Ringer (2005)

PLAY ALL 7 CLIPS

Clip 1

Michael is a loan shark. He's got big muscles and big friends but very little in the brain department. Which is why he calls people "retards".

Michael

Incredible. That guy's the Deion Sanders of retards.

Clip 2

Gary is trying to pressurise his nephew, Steve, into posing as developmentally disabled in order to "fix" the Special Olympics. What's worse is that he sees no issues with this.

Gary

The guy's wife is dead. You think a guy with no fingers is gonna find another woman? Even worse; when he comes home by himself, he won't even be able to jerk off properly. Because you robbed that man of his dignity.

Clip 3

Gary is very far from politically correct. Not only is his plan morally wrong and a logistical nightmare, but he just can't help referring to people as "'tards".

Gary

We gotta come up with some slogan. Slogan... you know, like, uh... "Life is like a box of chocolates." or "Take my hands, boss." like that monster 'tard from The Green Mile.

Steve

"Monster 'Tard?" What's wrong with you?

Gary

What? Since when did 'tard become politically incorrect?

Steve

Goodnight, Uncle Gary.

[STEVE pushes GARY out of his apartment and shuts the door]

Clip 4

Now that the secret is out and the other competitors know that "Jeffy" is cheating the system for a good reason, they're helping him to train. Hard.

Billy

Aargh! He stinks out loud.

Glen

Protein shake. Drink up!

["JEFFY" takes a mouthful and then spits it out]

Steve as "Jeffy"

Oh, God. What's in that?

Glen

Milk, eggs and meat.

Steve as "Jeffy"

What kind of meat?

Glen

Raw.

Steve as "Jeffy"

[Bends at the waist and throws up violently]

Jimmy

Hey! These are my good shoes!

Clip 5

The boys have plans for getting Jeffy up-to-speed and it all revolves around a strict training regime. It's about pushing him beyond his limits. And occasionally scaring the sh*t out of him.

Steve as "Jeffy"

How's a blindfold going to help me run faster?

Glen

Take it off and I'll show you.

["JEFFY" removes his blindfold to see an angry German Shepherd in a cage at GLEN'S feet]

Sic him, Killer. Get the bad man!

["JEFFY" takes off along the track with the dog hot on his heels]

Billy

That's a vast improvement!

Clip 6

Where do you go when you have sinned? If you're Catholic, you might well go to confession. Because, after all, who is better to hear and absolve your sins than your friendly local priest?

Steve

Father, I've been doing something bad, really bad. I'm a terrible person.

Priest

There are no terrible people. Only poor, misguided souls. Now, please... unburden yourself.

Steve

See, I was in a real bind and... I'm sorry, Father, I can't even say the words.

Priest

My son, there's no sin unforgivable for those that seek redemption.

Steve

I've been pretending to be mentally challenged so I can fix the Special Olympics to make money off of it.

[The confession box falls silent]

Father?

[The PRIEST'S fist suddenly shoots through the partition and punches STEVE in the face. We then cut to the exterior of the church as the PRIEST puts the boot in to a prone STEVE'S stomach]

Clip 7

You can always rely on good 'ol Uncle Gary to make things right. Steve is destroyed because he realises he can never be with Lynn. He just needs a gentle word of encouragement. Not THIS.

Steve

Christ!

Gary

Steve... Steve... if it's love you want so bad... if you win... I'll do ya.