11 MP3 Audio clips from Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013)

PLAY ALL 11 CLIPS

Clip 1

A collage of Ron Burgundy's bloopers from live news broadcasts.

Ron

KOREAN SOLDIERS WERE FIRED UPON IN A DMZ... Oh. Jeez. I am so sorry. Someone put the story in all capital letters and I... I thought I was supposed to yell it.

Cresident Parter... ahh, sh*t.

[Sighs]

I mean President Carter will speak at the summit Tuesday... Tony, did I just curse? Are you kidding me? Sh*t! I mean... sh*t! Shoot!

The slain civil rights leader was eulogised... ACHOOO!

[The camera lens is obscured by something which shot out of RON'S nose]

Oh! Wow! Did you see that? Right on the lens!

Folks, I'm sorry. I hold myself to a high professional standard and you shouldn't hear that language. Okay? I'm having a sh*tty day. Fu*k stick!

Clip 2

News channels operating twenty-four hours a day? Who's ever heard of new channels operating twenty-four hours a day? I mean... US, obviously. But not back in the 1980s. No way.

Ron

That is, without a doubt, the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You mean news going twenty-four hours around the clock? A channel that's never off in other words.

Freddie

Ye... yeah, just twenty-four hours... it's... it's, uh...

Ron

[Laughing]

No offence but you are a stupid a**hole!

Clip 3

Brick is a simple creature. Poorly equipped in the brain department, possibly autistic and off-camera he sinks to new depths of ridiculousness. As you're about to find out.

Brick

A black man follows me everywhere when it's sunny.

Ron

Actually, I think that's your shadow, Brick.

Brick

I call him Leon.

Ron

And if it's a cloudy day? What happens to Leon?

Brick

He goes home.

Ron

It's your shadow.

[To LINDA]

He's talking about his shadow.

Clip 4

Ron is skimming through possible stories to cover on his 2am to 5am slot on GNN. Nothing is floating his boat, rocking his world or lighting his candle, however.

Ron

Let's see here... Global temperatures rise half a degree, alarm climate scientists... boring. China could dominate the world economy in the next decade.

[To the tune of the Oriental riff]

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun... nope! Anyone else?

Brian

What if we show a porno instead of the news?

Ron

Freddie?

Freddie

No! Absolutely not.

Clip 5

The subject matter is odd but what REALLY bothers me? Why Brian felt the need to use the phrase "human vagina". As opposed to... what, exactly?

Brian

Tonight I begin part one of my eleven part series of the power and mystery of the human vagina.

[Cut to BRIAN'S broadcast on LINDA'S home TV. She walks into the room and watches on, astonished and horrified]

This series will be a tasteful look at just what makes a vagina tick. As well as a look at the fifty greatest vaginas of the twentieth century.

Linda

SON OF A B**CH!

Clip 6

I love the irony in this movie. You'll have to wait for the sixth line of dialogue to appreciate it but it's there. And it's cutting. Ouch!

Ron

Brian? Any idea what you might do next?

Brian

Gonna head back to LA. Got a good group of buddies out there. OJ Simpson, Phil Spector, Robert Blake.

Ron

Sounds like a fun crew.

Brian

We go out... cruising chicks.

[Laughs fondly]

Call ourselves the Lady Killers.

Ron

I love that name. You should get that on the back of matching jackets.

Brian

[Laughs]

Hey, that's not a bad idea.

Clip 7

Brian. He's a real catch. And by that, ladies, I mean that you'll likely catch something from him. A nice dose of crabs, perhaps? Or gonorrhoea? How about a case of herpes?

Brian

Women have been all over me since we got crazy famous, not to brag or anything but I just gave Florence Henderson crabs.

Ron

That is in no way a brag, Brian. That's horrible.

Brian

Hey, it's just doing somethin' beautiful that two people do. Except one of 'em has microscopic dust-mites all over his penis and testicles.

Clip 8

Turning your son against his stepfather. Something that most of us would never do. But Ron doesn't care. To him, Walter is a weapon. A guided missile he can send straight to the heart of his ex-wife.

Ron

This is hard. Things you say to a six-year-old. Oh! Guess what? I slept with a black woman.

Walter

What?

Ron

Nothing.

Walter

Dad, do you like Spiderman?

Ron

Nope. Don't care for him. Never have. Don't like the mask, the costume, the get-up, the webs... uh uh. He comes off like a real d*ckhead. Real poser.

Walter

What's a poser?

Ron

A poser is Gary. That's what a poser is. By the way, how is that sh*theel?

Walter

What's a sh*theel?

Ron

A sh*theel is a real fun term that you should call Gary every time you see him. When he wakes you up for breakfast, say "Oh, good morning Sh*theel!" He'll probably give you five dollars or some candy. Does that sound good?

Walter

Yeah.

Clip 9

Brian knows a thing or two about a thing or two. But he's not so hot on female anatomy. Strangely, Brick IS fairly knowledgeable in that department. Go figure.

Brian

You know, I might not be the smartest guy. But I know a thing or two about a thing or two. I know that if you're pleasuring a women down south you use your tongue and spell out the alphabet. Around her... bubble. Around her bubble.

Brick

THE VULVA!

Brian

The v... Volvo. I know that Synergy is a completely made-up word. I know that washing your hands is for nerds. Especially if you don't mind pink-eye!

Clip 10

Two women. One Ron Burgundy. A dilemma. It can only end one way. FIGHT!

Veronica

You must be Linda Jackson.

Linda

You must be Veronica.

Veronica

Yes, I am.

Linda

Pleasure.

Ron

This is a touching moment for me.

Veronica

Please...don't take this the wrong way but... if you touch Ron again I will shoot you in the cooch with a BB gun.

Linda

Oh!

[Laughs]

You can talk big all you want but guess what? This kitten's got claws, b**ch.

Veronica

Don't mess with me, Linda. Because this white thunder rolls deep and it rolls nasty.

Linda

I was feeling a little bit down but this is definitely picking up my mood.

Linda

Well, I guess I'll leave you two alone and it's, uh... been an absolute pleasure Miss Corningstone.

Veronica

This has been great.

Ron

Do you guys wanna kiss real quick?

Veronica

Ron? Read the room, Ron.

Ron

Take that as a no!

Clip 11

Just to reassure any visitors from the States, we Brits do NOT think that we're superior to you. In any way. But that's how we always come across in movies. For which we apologise. Unreservedly.

Reporter

WAIT!

[Cue: The Prince of Denmark's March]

Here's a headline for you. Moronic Yank wa*kerman gets a bloody good hiding from newsreader from a superior country. For we are... the BBC News Service.

[He and his posse roar like animals. Sort of.]