9 MP3 Audio clips from Wake Up, Ron Burgundy: The Lost Movie (2004)

PLAY ALL 9 CLIPS

Clip 1

Champ describes his "standard Tuesday night" but you have to believe me; there is NOTHING standard about what this hatstand gets up to when he's not presenting the sports report. Yikes!

Champ

No, uh... last night... oh, I stayed home for a while, drinking about six bottles of white wine, p*ssed my pants so I drove down to Mexico and shot some stray dogs. You know, pretty much standard Tuesday night.

Clip 2

Ever wondered what filth old ladies talk about in their residential home? Well, wonder no more. Because when Ron Burgundy's on the TV, it sets them ALL off!

Old Lady

Ron Burgundy. Oh, boy. If I were only thirty years younger. By that I mean I'd blow him.

Clip 3

It would appear that Brian is still wearing Sex Panther (by Odeon) despite protestations from his colleagues. And now it's the general public's turn to suffer.

Brian

[To camera]

Police are still baffled by this string of politically motivated robberies...

[A BYSTANDER appears in shot, apparently struggling with a pungent smell]

... They have little evidence and few leads. All they can do now is sit and wait -

Bystander

What is that stench? Smells like a biker threw up in a pile of rotten shrimp.

Brian

Hey, Jagoff... why don't you keep it down? I'm on TV!

Clip 4

You ever heard the phrase, "too much information"? Well it seems to me that Ron hasn't. Would YOU say this on a live TV news bulletin? No. Me neither.

Ron

Nice little story. That, of course, was Veronica Corningstone. I'd also like to share with you that, currently, we are dating. And I have to tell you she's quite a creative little partner in the bedroom. She did this one thing on Tuesday night that involved a hoola-hoop and a lasso. And... an ice cream scooper.

Clip 5

Champ likes to think of himself as a man of the world. But he's actually just a clue-less, chauvinistic c*ck-womble who can't help but say stupid sh*t!

Veronica

And now here's Champ Kind with sports.

Champ

Boy, you seem kinda weird tonight, honey. Must be that time of the month. WHAMMY!

[Laughs]

Padre's looking at a double-header today. I'll be -

Veronica

I'm just curious, Champ. Do you even know what the expression, "that time of the month" means?

Champ

Sure I do. It's when the... the bones in a... a lady... lady's boobs, uh... they get sore. Because of the vaginalistics... cells are, um... expanding. WHAMMY!

[To RON]

Help!

Clip 6

Donna is a big fan of Veronica Corningstone. A BIG fan. If you know what I mean...

Donna

Can I just say that I think you're fantastic?

Veronica

Oh.

Donna

I see you and you're just going. And you're... a girl. Just makes me wanna yell, "Keep going girl!"

Veronica

[Embarrassed laugh]

Donna

Or... or... "You GO, girl!"

Veronica

Keep working on that.

Donna

Keep it up, lady! Probably silly.

Veronica

Hmm. Are we done here?

Donna

Oh. Yeah.

Veronica

Okay. All right. Thank you, Donna... very much.

[VERONICA begins to leave]

Donna

And you're pretty. And I'm bisexual. I'm having a fondue party. In my pants!

Clip 7

Jess is Ron's mentor. And he has some pretty freaky plans for Mother Nature. Plans which include a sleazy motel, succulent breasts and doing things one can only usually do in Bangkok. No. Really.

Jess

I'd deeply like to take her and... make love to her.

Ron

Hmm.

Jess

Yeah.

Ron

She's an elusive goddess, Mother Nature.

Jess

Yeah. Still, to... feel her succulent breasts pressed against me and... my breath... whispering hot in her ear... "Yeah, Baby!" while I fumble with my belt. I'd like to take Mother Nature to a sleazy motel, get in the shower and... wash each other all over and... then go in the bedroom and do things you can only do in Bangkok.

Ron

All right, I'm gonna have to stop you there. You're making me very uncomfortable.

Clip 8

Ron has bravely taken a bullet in the shoulder for Veronica. A brave and selfless act. Which he then completely ruins by saying this...

Ron

AH! Spiderman's BALLS, that hurt!

Clip 9

It's Champ's catchphrase. As a message tone. Nice!

Champ

Whammy!

[Laughs]