10 MP3 Audio clips from Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising (2016)

PLAY ALL 10 CLIPS

Clip 1

The Radner household are in a panic because the potential buyers for their house are paying a surprise visit. Not the best time for little Stella to find Mommy's "toy".

Mac

Stella! How do you keep finding Mommy's dildo? Just put it away, okay?

Stella

No!

Mac

[To KELLY]

When did she start saying no all the time?

Kelly

I don't know.

Mac

Hide your unmentionables!

Clip 2

Stella has gatecrashed the meeting with the potential buyers. Which in itself is not a problem. It's what she's still holding that could derail things.

Jessica

Oh boy! Look. Guess your daughter found your vibrator.

Kelly

Stella! She just keeps finding it. I don't know what... what's going on.

Mac

Stels, put that away.

Stella

No!

Kelly

Stels!

Mac

She's just learned that word.

Jessica

Don't even worry. I think I have that same one at home.

Eric

But ours is in black.

[They all laugh]

Kelly

Black c*ck!

[Everybody stops laughing and an awkward silence ensues]

Clip 3

Wendy the realtor has just explained escrow but her use of profanity in front of little Stella doesn't go down well in the Radner camp.

Wendy

So your thirty days "do not fu*k up clock" starts now.

Kelly

Look, could you just watch your language, please?

Mac

Yeah.

Wendy

She's holding a dildo.

Clip 4

Kelly & Mac have attempted to bribe the Dean in order to shut down the sorority. But the Dean is having none of it.

Kelly

Do we have a deal, Chancellor?

Dean

No.

Kelly

You know what? FU*K YOU!

Mac

Unleash the hounds, sweetie.

Kelly

Yeah!

Dean

That's what... that's how you talk in front of your daughter?

Mac

Oh, I think we know how to be parents. She's a baby. A) She doesn't retain any of that sh*t...

Dean

Well, yes she will.

Mac

No she doesn't. Watch.

[He turns to face STELLA]

Fu*k. Fu*k fu*k fu*k fu*k fu*k!

Stella

Fu*k!

Dean

What's she watching on her iPad? Goodfellas?

Mac

Ha ha ha! Joke's on you. I don't know what she's watching on that iPad.

Clip 5

There may be no I in team but there's certainly an I in sorority. Just the one. For the record. Despite what you're about to hear.

Mac

Well, begs the question how the fu*k are we supposed to beat them?

Kelly

Yeah.

Mac

There's fifteen of them.

Teddy

No. They have fifteen individuals. They're not a cohesive unit. They don't understand the most important rule of sisterhood. There's no "I" in sorority.

Mac

Yeah there is. There's two actually.

Kelly

There's actually... there's just one.

Teddy

No. That's a Y.

Mac

No, in the middle.

Teddy

That's an O.

Mac

Two I's... straddling the Y. S-O-R-R-I-A-Y-O-R-I-T-Y.

Kelly

What?

Teddy

There's a U in there that you guys are all missing.

Kelly

S-O-R-R-I-R-O-I-T-I-T-Y.

Teddy

Sororititty?

Kelly

That's how you spell it!

Clip 6

What do you call a house full of united women? Here's a hint. The answer is NOT a brothel.

Shelby

We're never going to lose each other. I mean what do you call a house full of united women?

Nora

A brothel?

Shelby

No, man! A sorority!

Clip 7

The Radners and the Baiers are holding a crisis meeting as the latter have discovered the sorority and are threatening to back out of the purchase.

Kelly

I just feel like we're escrowing apart and we should be escrowing together.

Mac

Exactly. Guys can we just escrow together for a minute?

Kelly

And the truth is they're lovely girls.

Mac

Lovely girls.

Kelly

I promise you.

Mac

Super nice girls.

Jessica

Right, I don't think that they are because we literally saw them robbing your house.

Kelly

OH, WELL THANKS FOR FU*KING STOPPING THEM!

Mac

You just stood there while they robbed our house?

[The meeting descends into chaos as everyone begins shouting at each other]

Clip 8

Jimmy is unwell. Probably because the sorority have laced the punch with Flunitrazepam (Rohypnol) and he's starting to feel the effects.

Jimmy

[Groans]

Mac

What the fu*k? What happened?

Jimmy

I've been roofied. So if anyone's ever wanted to have sex with me... tonight's the night.

Shelby

[Audible through the open window]

We're good. The plan is almost done, okay? I've led the old people away, everything's fine...

Clip 9

Teddy has become a wedding planner for gay couples and his first assignment is his best friend, Pete. Pete is brutally honest.

Pete

I'm proud of you, man. You found your niche.

Teddy

It just seemed like a logical conclusion. Gay wedding planning.

Pete

It's a great job and you can do it with a criminal record.

Teddy

My only skill is planning parties. And for some reason gay guys specifically... they just respond to me.

Pete

It's because you're a great guy.

Teddy

Thanks, man.

Pete

And they probably want to fu*k the sh*t out of you.

Clip 10

I don't know where to start with this interaction between Mac & Kelly and Jimmy & Paula. Perhaps calling Child Services might be a good idea. Now where's that number?

Kelly

Awwwwww!

Mac

You got a present for your new little sister?

[STELLA drops the pink vibrator into MILDRED'S baby carrier]

Kelly

Baby's first dildo!

Mac

Thank you, Stella.

Paula

Oh my God. You guys are just like us!

Jimmy

Oh! Show 'em.

[PAULA pulls out an anatomically correct dildo complete with veins and testicles]

Paula

This is Jimmy Junior's favourite!

Jimmy

Show 'em, show 'em, look at that.

[He begins wobbling the phallic monstrosity in his baby's face]

Mac

We kind of have a "no veins" rule with our, uh... vibrators. Maybe get one without a ball sac attached to it?

Kelly

Put that away! Put... that... away!

[JIMMY brings JIMMY JUNIOR next to BABY MILDRED]

Mac

[Speaking as MILDRED]

Hey, Jimmy Junior... I'm Mildred.

Kelly

So cute!

Jimmy

[Speaking as JIMMY JUNIOR]

Hey, Mildred. One day... we... are gonna fuuccck!

Mac

[Speaking as MILDRED]

No. That's never gonna happen. Because my parents are gonna teach me to respect myself and stay away from guys like you!