9 MP3 Audio clips from The World's End (2013)

PLAY ALL 9 CLIPS

Clip 1

Gary has shown up unannounced and uninvited at the car showroom that Peter now runs alongside his father. It's a classy establishment. Not Gary's sort of place at all.

Gary

How you doing, man?

Peter

I'm well. You?

Gary

Yeah, never better. How's, um...

Peter

Vanessa?

Gary

No. Your wife.

Peter

Vanessa.

Gary

Yeah. How's she?

Peter

She's good.

Gary

Have... have you had sex yet?

Peter

We have two children.

Gary

Ooooh, twice! Get you, fu*k machine!

[Laughs]

We haven't changed, have we?

Peter's Dad

What's he doing here?

Peter

It's all right, Dad. We're fine.

Gary

Hi, Mister P.

Clip 2

The boys are sat outside High Wycombe train station waiting for Gary to arrive. An hour passes and then he arrives. In typical Gary style; horn blaring and tyres screaming.

[The boys hear GARY approaching before they see him. A battered Ford Granada screeches to a halt in front of them]

Andy

Unbelievable.

Gary

[Jumping out of the car]

Oh yes! Look at these c*nts!

Andy

You're late.

Gary

No, I'm not.

Andy

Yeah you are. You said three. It's almost four.

Gary

Yeah, three for four.

Clip 3

The First Post is, appropriately, the first of the twelve pubs the boys will be visiting in Newton Haven. Gary can't resist giving an oral history of the place before they go in.

Gary

Until 1840...

Andy

Fu*king hell!

Gary

...this building was the site of Newton Haven's first Post Office. Until an enterprising business fellow decided that, far from befitting the sending and receiving of mail, it was perhaps better suited as a humble tap-room where a weary traveller might get twatted. C'MON!

Clip 4

Funny how as children boys often fight over girls and as men, very little changes. Oliver's sister, Sam is the focus of conversation on this occasion.

Steven

I told you I had a thing about Sam and you proceeded to try and get in her pants at every opportunity.

Oliver

Guys please...

Steven

You only liked her after you found out I liked her!

Gary

That's right. Because you did the school play...

Peter

Cabaret.

Gary

...Cabaret, because she was in it and she wore those fishnet stockings and you got a big boner on stage!

Oliver

Jesus Christ!

Gary

It doesn't matter anyway. She always had a massive wide-on for Adrian Keane.

Steven

I hated that pr**k.

Oliver

Can we not...talk about my sister in relation to A) massive wide-ons, B) Steven's erect penis.

Gary

All right.

Clip 5

Gary is deluded. When Sam goes to "powder her nose", he follows her expecting an erotic liaison in the ladies' loo. He's sorely mistaken.

Sam

What you doing?

Gary

What are you doing?

Sam

I'm going to the toilet.

Gary

Well then, so am I.

Sam

Gary, you are out of your mind.

Gary

What are you talking about? You gave me the sign.

Sam

Uh... what sign?

Gary

You went to the toilet.

Sam

Gary, are you serious? I haven't seen you in twenty years. Do you really think I'm going to have sex with you in the ladies' toilet?

Gary

Well, the disabled's is out of order.

Sam

Gary, what happened?

Gary

I dunno. Maybe one of them put too many paper towels down the toilet. I mean, we don't know what they're thinking really, do we?

Clip 6

A massive fight in the gents' between Gary's posse and a group of "blues" has resulted in casualties on both sides. They're all in shock. Apart from the blues. They're dead.

Oliver

WTF, Gary. WTF...

Gary

What the fu*k does WTF mean?

Peter

[Stumbles out of a cubicle where's he's been hiding]

What the fu*k?

Gary

Oh, yeah!

Clip 7

Another conversation between Gary and Sam in the toilet. This time Gary has purer motives. He's trying to protect Sam from harm and he believes that the creepy twins might represent danger.

Gary

Have you noticed anything creepy about the twins? Apart from the fact that they're twins.

Sam

Just because they're twins doesn't automatically make them creepy.

Gary

It does a little bit.

Sam

You had sex with them.

Gary

A) I did not and B) how did you know about that?

Sam

A) it's a small town, B) I'm not stupid and C) they told me.

Gary

Right well I did. Once. But I was wasted. Which was creepy because it was like there was four of them. I'm not proud of it. I am a bit.

Clip 8

Taking refuge in the Bowling Club, the boys decide to confirm that each of them is who they say they are.

Gary

All right... I, I, I... I'm Gary King. I know I'm me. If I'm not me then how do I know that carved into that beam above your head are the words "King Gary"?

Andy

But it doesn't say, "King Gary".

Gary

Yes it does!

[After a pause]

Doesn't it?

Andy

No. It says, "King Gay".

Gary

Well... some c*nt scrubbed out the R!

Steven

That was me!

Gary

Why?!

Peter

[Laughs]

King Gay!

Andy

It means fu*k all anyway...

Clip 9

Apologies to our American visitors. Gary has reached the end of his tether (as well as the World's End) and has some choice words for the aliens taking over the world.

Gary

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET IN YOUR ROCKET AND FU*K OFF BACK TO LEGOLAND, YOU C*NTS?

Andy

Yeeeaaaaahhhhhh!