9 MP3 Audio clips from Run, Fatboy, Run (2007)

PLAY ALL 9 CLIPS

Clip 1

It's the morning of Dennis and Libby's nuptials and Gordon has walked into the kitchen to find Libby putting the finishing touches to her own, amazing wedding cake.

Gordon

Mmmm. That looks good enough to eat.

Libby

Awww, thank you.

Gordon

I wasn't talking about the cake.

Libby

Oh, Gordon... you're my cousin!

Gordon

Never stopped the Royal family.

Libby

You're a very sick man.

Gordon

Hmm?

Clip 2

Every man needs a friend like Gordon. There to give support and advice when it's most needed. Even if he has absolutely no idea what he's talking about!

Gordon

My only serious relationship ended in a broken collar bone and a dead Meerkat so I may not be the best person in the world to give advice but... you have been trying to get through to Libby for... five years now. So maybe you should... let her go.

Clip 3

Jake and Dennis are sitting in a tree, scaring people jogging by. It's a father-son moment. And Jake has a secret that he wishes to impart.

Jake

Do you want to hear a secret?

Dennis

Absolutely.

Jake

There's a girl in my class called Emily.

Dennis

Well... I'm sure that's not a secret. The teachers probably know about it.

Jake

She looks like a tree frog.

Dennis

She what?

Jake

She looks like a tree frog.

Dennis

[Laughs]

That's not a very nice thing to say.

Jake

I like tree frogs.

Dennis

Oh yeah?

Jake

I really think we can make a life together.

Dennis

You really think we can... that sounds like something Whit would say.

Jake

He did say it.

Dennis

Oh is... what, to Mum?

Jake

Yes.

Dennis

What a sh*thead.

Jake

Da-ad!

Dennis

Sorry.

Clip 4

It's been a bad morning. Dennis has joined Whit at a spin class which nearly killed him and then he had to tolerate Whit's genitals at eye-level in the changing room. But it's about to get worse.

Whit

Woah, woah, woah... uh, just be careful on the stairs here. Your legs might be a little rubbery.

Dennis

I'm fine.

[DENNIS takes a step and falls top-to-bottom knocking a woman off an exercise ball at the bottom]

Sorry. Sorry.

Clip 5

Libby has a shop full of customers all desperate for one of her cakes. Dennis is trying to talk to her. It's not quite going to plan.

Dennis

Look, Libby, I can change.

Libby

Yeah, well, great... let's get married.

Dennis

Really?

Libby

No. We tried that once, remember? You left me at the altar... pregnant.

Old Lady

You... c*ck!

Clip 6

Whit has run marathons before. Dennis hasn't. Whit is trying to give him advice (and belittle him a little) but Dennis is having none of it.

Whit

You ever, uh, run a marathon before?

Dennis

No. Why?

Whit

It's pretty gruelling.

Dennis

Well, yeah... that's why they call it a marathon.

Whit

Yeah, actually, technically it's called a marathon because of the events of 490BC. There was a Greek soldier named Pheid...

Dennis

Sorry. Can I... can I just stop you there?

Whit

Ya.

Dennis

I've got nothing to say, I just wanted to stop you there.

Clip 7

Dennis went jogging in a pair of what can only be described as "budgie smugglers" earlier that morning. He's still wearing them under his uniform. They need adjustment. Frequently.

Shop Owner

Do you mind not doing that in front of the customers?

Dennis

Sorry. I went for a run this morning in my trunks and I think I've got a bit of a rash, you know... down there. In the, uh...

Shop Owner

I understand.

Dennis

...scrotal zone.

Shop Owner

I understand, Dennis.

Dennis

Okay.

Shop Owner

Please. Keep your hands out of the "scrotal zone" whilst you're at work.

Dennis

Will do.

Clip 8

Dennis is having a heart-to-heart with his Landlord, Mr. Goshdashtidar about love and loss. He probably wasn't expecting the conversation to go quite in this direction!

Dennis

Did you have a good marriage, Mister Goshdashtidar?

Mr. Goshdashtidar

I remember the feeling of being complete. Of spending every day with my best friend. But most of all... I remember all the fu*king!

Clip 9

Gordon has a plan to get Dennis a place in the marathon. He makes up a medical condition, takes Mr. Goshdashtidar in a wheelchair to see the officials and appeals to their better nature.

Gordon

Every year, literally hundreds of people are affected by acute neurocortical emphicitis or Hapsberg Syndrome.

Marathon Official

I see. And how does the condition manifest itself?

Gordon

The syndrome is characterised by a loss of lower body function, sporadic and often violent outbursts of profanity...

Mr. Goshdashtidar

[Begins to swear like a Tourette's sufferer in Urdu]

Gordon

And often, chronic flatulence.

[MR. GOSHDSHTIDAR leans on to one cheek in his wheelchair and squeezes out a fart]

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Habsburg Syndrome is a genuine condition affecting the jaw, medically known as mandibular prognathism. But it has nothing whatsoever to do with loss of muscle function, flatulence or profanity. Just thought you ought to know!]