9 MP3 Audio clips from Shaun Of The Dead (2004)

PLAY ALL 9 CLIPS

Clip 1

Liz is trying to have a heart-to-heart with Shaun at The Winchester. She has to contend with Ed playing the fruit machine just over her right shoulder.

Liz

It would just be nice if we could...

Ed

Fu*k!

Liz

...spend a bit more time together.

Ed

Bollocks!

Liz

Just the two of us.

Ed

C*ck it!

Clip 2

Ed doesn't have too many friends. I can't think why. He has such a way with words. His silver-tongued verbal acrobatics would attract the most hardened loner, surely?

Shaun

[Whispering]

Ed doesn't have too many friends.

Ed

Can I get... any of you c*nts... a drink?

Clip 3

Shaun and Ed are speaking conspiratorially in the kitchen about Ed and how he's outstayed his welcome in the house they all share.

Shaun

I've known him since primary school. You know, I like having him around. He's a laugh.

Pete

What? Because he can impersonate an orangutan? Fu*k-a-doodle-do.

Shaun

Oh, leave him alone.

Clip 4

When Ed apologises it's never easy to tell whether it's because he's done something wrong or he's produced something that could choke a maggot.

Ed

I'm sorry, Shaun.

Shaun

[Sighs]

It's all right.

Ed

No, no. I'm sorry, Shaun.

Shaun

[Finally realising]

Oh...

[Laughs]

Oh my God. That's rotten!

Clip 5

Two of these messages are real. One of them is made up. See if you can work out which one Ed didn't jot down when he played the answering machine.

Ed

Got your messages?

Shaun

What?

Ed

Well, your Mum rang about going round tomorrow night. And then Liz rang about the two of you eating out tonight. And then your Mum rang back to see if I wanted to eat her out tonight.

Clip 6

Liz has just split up from Shaun. Shaun is at her flat where David is dispensing some advice. Advice that Shaun doesn't particularly care for.

David

Basically, I'd say your nine lives were up, Shaun.

Shaun

GET FU*KED, FOUR-EYES!

Clip 7

Ed is trying to cheer Shaun up at The Winchester with some people watching over a pint or two of lager.

Ed

These are rich, interesting characters.

Shaun

Like who?

Ed

[Points to a man in snakeskin boots, smoking at the bar]

Snake Hips. Always surrounded by women, he's a bigamist. Strangled his first wife with a draught excluder and invented the mobile disco.

Shaun

[Pointing to a middle-aged woman drinking alone]

And what about her, then?

Ed

C*ckacidal maniac. She's an ex-porn star. She's done it all. They say she starred in the world's first interracial hardcore loop.

[He begins mimicking intercourse with his hands]

Café au lait. Pour vous!

Clip 8

Shaun is trying to prepare his mother for the eventuality that he is going to have to kill his stepfather to prevent him becoming a zombie. But he doesn't come right out and say that, of course.

Shaun

Mum, look... how much do you love Philip?

Barbara

Oh, Shaun. Do we have to go through all that again?

Shaun

Mum, look... what would you say if I told you that over the years, Philip's been quite unkind to me.

Barbara

Well, you weren't always the easiest person to live with.

Shaun

Mum, he chased me around the garden with a bit of wood.

Barbara

Well, you did call him a you-know-what.

Shaun

Oh, what did he tell you that?

Barbara

Yes, he did.

Shaun

Mother fu*ker.

Barbara

SHAUN!

Shaun

Sorry, mother. Mum. Mum. Did you know that on several occasions, he touched me?

[BARBARA turns to face SHAUN]

That wasn't true. Made it up. Shouldn't have done. Sorry.

Clip 9

David and Shaun are arguing about the necessity to shoot Barbara who's just died in The Winchester. David might have been honest but he's sure losing this argument.

David

I'm NOT a Chartered Accountant.

Shaun

Well, you look like one.

Ed

Yeeeeaahhhhh!

David

I'm a lecturer.

Shaun

You're a twat!

Ed

Yeeeeaahhhhh!