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13 MP3 Audio clips from We're the Millers (2013)

David Clark (Jason Sudeikis) is a small-time drug dealer in Denver. When he's robbed of his stock and cash, his supplier thinks of way to re-pay his debt. He must run two tonnes of marijuana over the Mexican border. He enlists the help of his neighbours and a homeless girl and together they become "The Millers", a fictitious family on vacation.

Timestamp: 2019-11-30 | Added: 2019-11-30
We're the Millers

We're the Millers

© 2013 New Line Cinema

David Clark (Jason Sudeikis) is a small-time drug dealer in Denver. When he's robbed of his stock and cash, his supplier thinks of way to re-pay his debt. He must run two tonnes of marijuana over the Mexican border. He enlists the help of his neighbours and a homeless girl and together they become "The Millers", a fictitious family on vacation.




Clip 1

David Clark has just bumped into an old college friend, Rick Nathanson and "for old time's sake", has given him some weed to smoke. That's when Rick's phone rings.

Download Clip 0068-01 to your PC / Mac  


Hey, good luck with your family.

[RICK'S phone begins to ring]


Oh, fu*k. Fu*k me. Fu*k.

[He answers it]

Hey! Great news. We're gonna get high and fu*ked tonight... Oh, I'm sorry, Honey. Put Mommy on the phone, okay?

Clip 2

David and Rose (a stripper) have had a slight disagreement in the lobby of their apartment building. Not surprisingly, she storms off.

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Have fun dying alone, Jerk.


Yeah, have fun digging out the singles from your crotch.


My crotch only takes twenties, David.

Clip 3

David has just been kidnapped by two henchmen and is stood in the surprisingly plush and corporate looking reception of his supplier with a bag over his head.

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Can I get you something to drink? Coffee, tea, fresca?


Hmmmm, you know what? A fresca sounds really good.


You got it.


I appreciate that, oh, hold on one second.

[Indicating to his CAPTORS]

You guys want anything? It's on me. Gotta replenish those electrolytes. Don't want you cramping up later when you're jerking each-other off.

Clip 4

Whilst David and Kenny are sat outside their building, an RV rolls up driven by someone who bears more than a passing resemblance to Ned Flanders.

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Hi! Sure hate to bug you fellas but I'm trying to get the fam up to the zoo and uh, I'm lost as all heck.


Yeah, fu*k off, real-life Flanders!

Clip 5

David has recruited Kenny and now needs Rose to come on board. He returns from the strip club and Kenny asks how the meeting went.

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So what did she say?


The fu*k d'ya think? She said no.


Cool. So I guess it's just us, then. A little father and son bonding trip to Mexico.


Are you kidding me? You and me travelling alone in a van's gonna look like the Pervert Olympics.

Clip 6

David is in a salon, looking to lose his "drug dealer" hair-style in favour of something more "mainstream" and family-friendly.

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David Clark?

[DAVID sits in the chair]

Okay. What are we doing today?


Yeah. I say, give me something that says I get up every morning at five-thirty and commute for an hour-and-a-half to some bullsh*t job where my jag-off boss expects me to kiss his balls all day just so I can afford to keep my ungrateful, screaming kids decked out in Dora The Explorer sh*t and my wife up to her fat ass in self-help videos until the day I get up the courage to put a shotgun in my mouth.

Other Client


[He points at his own head]

Right here.


Yeah. That's it.

Clip 7

How to blend in as a normal family on a flight to New Mexico? Introduce your teenage "children" and hope that they keep their mouths shut.

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Yeah, you know, I've got my hands full here. Couple of kooky teenagers.


Yeah, I'm going through all those typical teenage girl issues. Like... finals and college applications and am I going to get asked to prom... Plus I haven't gotten my period in like two months which is really weird because I've mostly just been doing anal.

[KENNY nearly chokes on the water he's drinking]

Clip 8

David has called Brad Gurdlinger to complain that his "smidge" of pot is, in fact, two tonnes of the good stuff.

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[When the phone rings, BRAD is carving an intricate ice sculpture]

Brad Gurdlinger

Hey, Buddy! I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I'm like an amazing sculptor.


What are you talking about?

Brad Gurdlinger

I've been working on it all day. It's an Orca and he's breaching... and I'm balls-deep in his blow-hole.


What the fu*k?!

Clip 9

Casey has just opened the mini-fridge in the RV and discovered that it is also jam-packed with weed.

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Woah. I think Snoop Dogg would fu*k this fridge.

Clip 10

The "Millers" have been stopped just outside of Pablo Chacon's compound by a corrupt cop. It's bribe time!

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Cut the sh*t. I saw you leaving Pablo Chacon's compound and we both know if I search your mobile home what I find. But I don't feel like arresting anybody today, so... I just simply take my bribe and I'll be on my way.


Well, all right!


Here we go. This is what I'm talking about. Great. Well, how much we talking? A hundred? Two hundred?


One thousand.


Thousand? Um, we... we... we... we don't have that sort of cash on us right now.


Hmmm. You see, that's gonna be a problem. Maybe you can offer me something else? Say, uh... something a little more personal?

[DAVID realises that the cop is alluding to sexual favours]


Rose. Suck his d*ck.


Fu*k you! I'm not sucking anything.


Please, please. Señora. No need to be alarmed.




You see I'm, uh... how you say, uh... a man who prefers the company of other men.




David. Suck his d*ck.


Five seconds tops. Just cradle the balls.


[Moans appreciatively]

Clip 11

There are some stories that should never be told. Especially when you've just met the couple you're regaling with it.

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Edie Fitzgerald

So, you know, when you're a synchronised swimmer you can't use a Maxipad because you can see it. So my friend bought me a box of tampons. And I'm telling you I had such a hard time inserting those. It would just stick half-way out just like a Roman Candle. And THAT is how I found out I was born with a shallow vagina.

Clip 12

David has just inadvertently revealed the scale of the financial return involved in this operation. To those he offered such little reward to.

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You are making five-hundred thousand dollars, and you were only going to pay me thirty?


You're getting thirty grand?! I'm getting a thousand.


Wait... you guys are getting paid?!

Clip 13

Melissa witnessed Kenny tonguing his "sister" AND his "mother" the previous night. But that isn't ALL that happened. And she's about to find out.

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Melissa. Yes. It... it was wrong of me to fondle Mrs. Miller's breasts. You're right. Even though I'm not gonna deny that it gave me a certain amount of pleasure. But that being said, your father and I are struggling with some serious intimacy issues.


Okay... um, no... stop.


I'm not as tight as I once was.




I... look, he just falls right out ...




It's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.