6 MP3 Audio clips from Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)

PLAY ALL 6 CLIPS

Clip 1

Fulton Greenwall seeks the elusive Ace Ventura who, since a tragic accident involving a raccoon, has taken sanctuary in an Ashram.

Fulton Greenwall

It's extremely nice to meet you. Now... my name is Fulton Greenwall and I am looking for an Ace Ventura.

Ashram Monk

No man here carries with him a label.

Fulton Greenwall

What? Oh, yes. No names. How silly of me. Well, um, he's an American.

Ashram Monk

We are all children of the same life force.

Fulton Greenwall

Yes, of course we are. Well, uh, he bends over and he speaks from his rear.

Ashram Monk

Oh, HIM!

Clip 2

Perhaps it's the altitude. Perhaps Ace is slightly deaf. Perhaps the Stewardess didn't make herself clear. Perhaps Ace is a pervert.

Stewardess

Peanut?

Ace

Yes, I have one right here. It's bulky but I consider it carry-on.

Stewardess

Peanut.

Ace

Ohhh, I see.

[Laughs]

Clip 3

Ace is distracted on the flight, despite Fulton outlining the case he is to undertake in such dramatic fashion.

Fulton Greenwall

The sacred animal was offered as dowry for the marriage. But, if it is not recovered, the result will be the merciless slaughter of the Wachatis.

[Noticing that ACE is distracted]

Uh, Mr. Ventura? Mr. Ventura!

Ace

[Doing a passable impression of Captain James T. Kirk]

There's... someone on the wing. Some... thing!

[He grabs FULTON by the collar]

I'm sorry. What were you saying?

Clip 4

This one might be handy as a ringtone. It's the moment in the movie where Ace has just rolled a Landrover into a space beside the Governor's Rolls Royce. Literally.

Ace

Like a glove!

Clip 5

Vincent Cadby is not Ace Ventura's kind of guy. He's pretentious and likes to use a crop to discipline his horse. Ace can't resist putting that crop to good use.

[ACE takes VINCENT CADBY'S riding crop and smacks him on the ass with it]

Ace

Funny. It didn't seem that painful when you were doing it to the horse.

Clip 6

A woman descends the stairs with a dead fox around her shoulders. This is like a red rag to a bull for Ace who can't resist destroying her. Oh, and her husband looks like the Monopoly guy.

Ace

That's quite a wrap you're wearing. Perhaps I could get you some fluffy new slippers made from the heads of innocent and defenceless baby seals?

McGuire

Who is this... ghastly man?

Ace

[Extending his hand]

Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. And... YOU must be the Monopoly guy! Hey.

[Whispers in the man's ear]

Thanks for the free parking!

Pompous Woman

Another... activist, McGuire.

McGuire

Activist... yeeesssss.

[Laughs pompously]

Ace

[Mocking McGUIRE]

Activist... yeeesssss.

[Also laughs pompously]

Pompous Woman

Mr. Ventura, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the fruits of nature. You should try it some time.

Ace

All righty then.

[He punches McGUIRE unconscious and drapes him over his shoulder causing the other guests to gasp in astonishment]

Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars!