11 MP3 Audio clips from The Nice Guys (2016)

PLAY ALL 11 CLIPS

Clip 1

A High School class are being forced to watch a typically 1950's informational film on grammar. Sadly, some words have NOT retained their original meaning in the intervening years.

Narrator

Let's see what they've brought with them to the pool today. Bart has a plain towel. Sarah has a bright towel. Jonathan has a gay towel.

[The class laugh raucously at the mention of the word "gay"]

Clip 2

Jackson is brushing his teeth. He tears off yesterday's leaf of his "word-a-day" calendar to reveal today's word. He uses it in a sentence.

Jackson

He accepted her betrayal with equanimity.

[Cut-away to a restaurant in the recent past. JACKSON is sat at a table opposite his girlfriend]

Girlfriend

Jack, I'm fu*king your Dad.

[JACKSON spits his drink all over the table]

Clip 3

Jackson is kicking Holland's ass in his own home because he's been following a girl named Amelia. All for professional reasons, of course; but a hit is a hit.

Jackson

Mr. March, we're gonna play a game.

Holland

I think you have the wrong house.

Jackson

It's called "Shut up unless you're me."

Clip 4

Jackson has a very simple message for Holland. If only Holland could accept it without making unwise comments.

Jackson

Stop looking for Amelia. Right?

Holland

I'm not even looking for Amelia. She's a person of interest, man... I... fine. I... I'm done. Put a fork in me. Don't really put a fork in me!

Clip 5

The beating is nearly over. Almost. Just one more thing to do. And it's going to hurt. A lot.

Jackson

Give me your left arm.

Holland

Huh?

Jackson

Your left arm. Give me your left arm. This one.

Holland

No.

Jackson

Yeah. Come on...

Holland

Nnnnnooooooo!

Jackson

You cut yourself?

Holland

I'm dealing with an injury.

Jackson

Right. Look, when you're talking to your doctor, just tell him you have a spiral fracture of the left radius.

Holland

NO! NO!

Jackson

Deep breath.

[We hear HOLLAND'S arm being broken and HOLLAND then screams loudly and for a very long time!]

Clip 6

Holland has taken Holly and her friends bowling. He receives an unexpected and decidedly unwelcome visitor and they're sat talking at a table when suddenly...

[HOLLY slaps the table twice and makes a sound like a cymbal, causing HOLLAND to jump]

Holland

Jesus! What are you doing here?

Holly

Giving you a rim job.

Holland

What? Rim SHOT. Rim shot.

Holly

Whatever.

Clip 7

Chet has brought Holland and Jackson to the burned-out shell of the home of an amateur porn producer. They need answers. Perhaps this kid on a bike can provide them.

Holland

Hey, kid. Kid.

Kid

What?

Holland

You know the guy who lived here?

Kid

Maybe. What's it to ya?

Chet

Hey, he'll give you $20 if you answer.

Holland

I didn't say that.

Kid

20 bucks, man, or you can blow.

Holland

Wow.

Kid

Thank you. Yeah, I knew the dude. Film-maker dude. Saw him making a film last month.

Chet

Experimental films, right?

Kid

I guess. More like a nudie film.

Holland

Did you see a girl about 5'8", dark hair, named Amelia?

Kid

Nope. Saw that famous chick.

Holland

What famous chick?

Kid

Dead one. Porn star. Misty something.

Holland

You saw Misty Mountains here?

Kid

Yeah. Talked to the producer. (MUTTERS) No, his name was Sid... Sid Hatrack. Yeah.

Holland

Nobody's name is Hatrack.

Kid

Whatever. Tried to get a job. I offered to show my d*ck 'cause I got a big d*ck.

Holland

Oh, right...

Kid

Yeah

Chet

[Laughs]

Holland

Well, that's very nice.

Kid

Yeah.

Holland

You sure you didn't see another girl?

Kid

Nope. You guys wanna see my d*ck?

Chet

Nobody wants to see your d*ck, dude.

Kid

Twenty bucks?

Chet

We already paid you tw... what am I saying?

Kid

Oh, all right.

Clip 8

Holland and Jackson are driving to a party in the Hills. They're discussing Holland's nigh-on blind client.

Holland

She's blind as a bat.

Jackson

Uh huh.

Holland

She has actual Coke bottles for glasses. If you paint a moustache on a Volkswagen she says "Boy, that Omar Sharif sure runs fast!"

Clip 9

Holland has just stumbled upon the rotting corpse of a porn producer. Literally. Now he and Jackson must get rid of the body.

Holland

Before we go solving the crime of the century, let's deal with the fu*king rotting corpse.

Jackson

What the fu*k are we gonna do with this guy?

Holland

We gotta get rid of him.

Jackson

Why?

Holland

I lost my gun, there was a girl, she can place me.

Jackson

All right. I've got a plan. We throw up, we'll get rid of the body.

Clip 10

Bartenders are usually only too happy to talk. This one needs a little encouragement. He's thinking money. Holland's thinking Jackson.

Bartender

Evening. What can I get ya?

Holland

Information. You seen this girl? She probably came in in the last half hour.

Bartender

Hey, I just work here.

Holland

Yeah, no sh*t, Sherlock. That's why I'm asking you.

Bartender

Hmm. Memory gets a little... foggy, you know? What's in it for me?

Holland

He'll stop doing it.

Bartender

Doing what?

[JACKSON slams the BARTENDER'S face into the counter]

Holland

That.

Bartender

FU*K!

Jackson

Now we can do this the easy way... or we can... we're currently doing it the easy way...

Bartender

Okay. Jesus!

Clip 11

Holland and Jackson have found Amelia and brought her back to Holland's place. It SHOULD be deserted. But Holly and Jessica are there. Playing Pong.

Holland

What are you doing here?

Holly

Holy sh*t! You got her.

Holland

You're supposed to be at Jessica's.

Jessica

Yeah, sorry Mr. March. My sister kicked us out. She's having a guy over.

Holland

Your sister's such a slut.

Jessica

Yeah, I know.