8 MP3 Audio clips from See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989)

PLAY ALL 8 CLIPS

Clip 1

Wally has met David for the first time and he's looking for a job. David has something he needs to check first.

David

You really blind?

Wally

Yes, I'm really blind, man... what are you, fu*kin' deaf?

David

YES! I'M FU*KING DEAF!

Clip 2

The pair are being questioned by Captain Braddock who mistakes being deaf for being stupid.

Captain Braddock

All right, no more bullsh*t...

[To DAVE, talking fast]

...was there or wasn't there a woman?

Dave

Are you serious?

Captain Braddock

Yes, I'm goddamn serious.

Dave

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a woman?

Captain Braddock

What the hell is he talking about?

Wally

He reads lips. You're talking too fast.

Captain Braddock

[To DAVE, talking slowly]

Was... there... a... wo... man... pres... ent?

Dave

[Exaggerating the tempo of speech]

Yes... there... was... a... wom... an... pres... ent.

Captain Braddock

Why is he talking like that?

Wally

Because he's deaf... not stu-pid.

Clip 3

A police officer is trying to take Lyons' mugshot. Sadly, communication is breaking down.

Police Officer

Why is he doing this to me? I just want him to face the camera.

Wally

He's not facing the camera?

Police Officer

NO!

Wally

It's news to me.

Dave

What?

Wally

Face the camera.

Police Officer

That's better. Hold it.

[As she presses the shutter, DAVE turns his head to talk to WALLY]

Police Officer

SH*T! SH*T! Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t...

Dave

Is she saying 'sh*t' or 'ship'?

Wally

Sh*t.

Police Officer

Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t...

Clip 4

Wally is driving, Dave is guiding because his hands are cuffed behind his back. Dave has just one concern...

Wally

How am I doin'?

Dave

Don't look at me, watch the road.

Wally

Oh, if it'll make you feel better...

Dave

One left...

Clip 5

The madcap car journey has not ended well. They're in a stolen police cruiser on a barge floating up the Hudson carrying tonnes of garbage. Smelly, rancid garbage.

Dave

Right now I'm a little overwhelmed... by the stink of the seven thousand tons of garbage that you drove me into.

Wally

Is that what it is? I thought you'd let one go. That's why I didn't say nothin'.

Dave

That was kind of you. Thank you.

Clip 6

Dave has tricked Wally into shouting into his ear to demonstrate that he is, actually, acutely deaf and hears nothing whatsoever.

Wally

You can hear me!

Dave

NO! SCHMUCK! I'M DEAF. NOW D'YA GET IT?

[He grabs WALLY and begins shaking him]

Clip 7

Wally swears a lot. Dave doesn't. Dave wishes he could. But he has to settle for mocking Wally.

Wally

But I say fu*k it. I'm not going to worry about him. Fu*k him.

Dave

You swear an awful lot.

Wally

You're fu*king-A right!

Dave

Fu*king-A. Somethin' bothers you, fu*k it. Your wife leaves you, fu*k her. Boss fires you? Heh... fu*k him, eh? Fu*k it, fu*k, fu*k 'em, fu*k it. Right?

Wally

You're fu*king right.

Dave

[Laughs]

That's right. You know that it's a blessing to be able to do that? I can't do it. You're a lucky guy. I can't do it.

Wally

Well fu*kin' change!

Clip 8

A heart-to-heart by the roadside. Wally feels bad about everything but Dave has had an epiphany.

Wally

And today I realised for the first time... I'm full of sh*t.

Dave

Well, that's true....but this morning, I threatened to shoot a naked woman with my erection. Now that doesn't happen every day.