Film Funnies | National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)

National Lampoon's Vacation

The original and arguably still the best of the franchise. The Griswold family's cross-country drive to the Walley World theme park proves to be much more arduous than they ever anticipated. Will Clark ever make it and will his family survive the ordeal?

ADDED: 12 October, 2019 | CLIPS: 5

WARNING: ADULT CONTENT!

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PLAY ALL 5 CLIPS

Clip 1

Clark has got himself and his family lost in a ghetto. He makes the mistake of stopping to ask for directions.

Clark

Pardon me. Uh, I wonder if you could tell me how to get back on the Expressway?

Gangster

Hey, fu*k your momma.

Clark

Thank you very much.

Clip 2

Audrey is on a see-saw with Cousin Vicki when the conversation takes a decidedly sinister turn.

Cousin Vicki

I'm going steady. And I French kiss.

Audrey

So? Everybody does that.

Cousin Vicki

Yeah but Daddy says I'm the best at it.

Clip 3

Rusty is talking to Cousin Dale about what video games he has. One of the titles gets lost in translation!

Rusty

Hey, you got Pacman?

Cousin Dale

[Sighs]

No.

Rusty

Uh, you got Space Invaders?

Cousin Dale

Nope.

Rusty

You got Asteroids?

Cousin Dale

No but my Dad does. Can't even sit on a toilet somedays.

Clip 4

Clark and Ellen are getting 'romantic' in a sleeping bag when they're interrupted by Dinkums. Ellen assumes his growl is that of a wild animal.

Ellen

Sparky! This isn’t… this isn't very romantic.

Clark

Mmmm, isn't it?

Ellen

No. I, I don't think there's enough room for two in this sleeping bag.

Clark

Oh, Honey. Right now we're one. One heart beating for two.

Ellen

Oh, Sparky!

[A growl is heard]

Sparky. Sparky. Wild animal.

Clark

Yeah, I know.

Ellen

Wild animal.

Clark

I'm gonna go for it, Honey.

Clip 5

Clark's done with his family's complaints. He's sick of being underappreciated and being the only one to care about Walley World. And he lets rip.

Ellen

What do you think?

Clark

[Skids to a halt]

I think you're all fu*ked in the head. We're ten hours from the fu*king fun park and you wanna bail out. Well, I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. A quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fu*king fun we're gonna need plastic surgery to remove our goddam smiles. You'll be whistling zip-a-dee-doo-dah out of your a**holes.

[Laughs]

I gotta be crazy. I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy sh*t!

5 MP3 Audio clips from National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)

The original and arguably still the best of the franchise. The Griswold family's cross-country drive to the Walley World theme park proves to be much more arduous than they ever anticipated. Will Clark ever make it and will his family survive the ordeal?