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7 MP3 Audio clips from Severance (2006)

A team-building weekend in the mountains of Eastern Europe goes horribly wrong for the sales division of the multi-national weapons company Palisade Defence when they become the victims of a group of crazed killers who will stop at nothing to see them dead.

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Severance

Severance

© 2006 Qwerty Films

A team-building weekend in the mountains of Eastern Europe goes horribly wrong for the sales division of the multi-national weapons company Palisade Defence when they become the victims of a group of crazed killers who will stop at nothing to see them dead.

ADDED: | CLIPS: 7

WARNING: ADULT CONTENT!

PLAY ALL 7 CLIPS

Clip 1

Billy needs advice on the fairer sex. Luckily for him, Steve's wisdom in matters of the flesh is available.

Download Clip 0013-01 to your PC / Mac  

Billy

Look, I'm not saying that I fancy anyone in particular. I'm just saying if I did like someone, well I wouldn't know the best way to approach them. You know, dating's complicated in England.

Steve

What you talkin' about? English birds ain't complicated. You buy 'em a Bacardi Breezer and they'll ride you like Seabiscuit.

Clip 2

Steve has the ability to understate any situation.

Download Clip 0013-02 to your PC / Mac  

Girl

[Following a monstrous and unidentifiable roar from nearby]

What was that?

Steve

[Belches]

Sorry.

Clip 3

One of the party has lost his leg. It needs to be stored until it can be re-attached. Over to you, Steve.

Download Clip 0013-03 to your PC / Mac  

Harris

What are we going to do with his leg?

Maggie

We need to keep it cold.

Steve

There's a fridge on the coach.

Maggie

That's great. Thank you.

Steve

[Realising that he's just inadvertently volunteered himself to put the leg in the fridge]

Oh you're sh*tting me!

Clip 4

Steve has no inner monologue, a fact he deftly proves here.

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Steve

Sometimes I act like an idiot, you know? I say things when I shouldn't. And um... Sh*t, I've left Gordon's foot on the coach. Sorry mate!

Clip 5

What is that Scouts learn? Be prepared? Well Gordon was certainly prepared.

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Billy

Look, help me get some wood. We need to board ourselves in.

Maggie

All right.

Steve

With what?

Billy

I dunno. Check Gordon's bag or something.

Steve

Well he's not gonna have hammer and nails in there, is he?

[He opens the bag and a hammer and nails fall out]

Oh for fu*k's sake.

Clip 6

Eating several ounces of magic mushrooms before becoming stranded in the middle of nowhere was not one of Steve's better ideas.

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Steve

Have I p*ssed myself?

Maggie

What?

Steve

I feel damp.

Maggie

Well, you look all right. I'm not going to touch you.

Steve

Have I p*ssed my pants?

Maggie

I'm just saying I don't think so. What's wrong with you?

Clip 7

Steve's having a bad day. He takes a bite of pie and finds someone else's tooth in it.

Download Clip 0013-07 to your PC / Mac  

Harris

Bit young to be losing your teeth aren't you?

Steve

It's not mine. It's not my tooth.

Richard

Maybe it's just a clove.

Steve

Does it look like a fu*king clove? I'm gonna puke.

Harris

Could it be the cow's tooth?

Steve

A cow with gold fillings? Who made the pie?

Gordon

No, I didn't make it. I found it.

Steve

You what?

Gordom

I found it.

Steve

You found a pie?

Gordon

It was wrapped in foil.

Billy

Oh well that's a relief.

Steve

Jesus. You dirty bastard.

Gordon

I cooked it for the full hour.

Billy

Oh, it had instructions on it?

Gordon

No. But it's a pie.