7 MP3 Audio clips from Severance (2006)

PLAY ALL 7 CLIPS

Clip 1

Billy needs advice on the fairer sex. Luckily for him, Steve's wisdom in matters of the flesh is available.

Billy

Look, I'm not saying that I fancy anyone in particular. I'm just saying if I did like someone, well I wouldn't know the best way to approach them. You know, dating's complicated in England.

Steve

What you talkin' about? English birds ain't complicated. You buy 'em a Bacardi Breezer and they'll ride you like Seabiscuit.

Clip 2

Steve has the ability to understate any situation.

Girl

[Following a monstrous and unidentifiable roar from nearby]

What was that?

Steve

[Belches]

Sorry.

Clip 3

One of the party has lost his leg. It needs to be stored until it can be re-attached. Over to you, Steve.

Harris

What are we going to do with his leg?

Maggie

We need to keep it cold.

Steve

There's a fridge on the coach.

Maggie

That's great. Thank you.

Steve

[Realising that he's just inadvertently volunteered himself to put the leg in the fridge]

Oh you're sh*tting me!

Clip 4

Steve has no inner monologue, a fact he deftly proves here.

Steve

Sometimes I act like an idiot, you know? I say things when I shouldn't. And um... Sh*t, I've left Gordon's foot on the coach. Sorry mate!

Clip 5

What is that Scouts learn? Be prepared? Well Gordon was certainly prepared.

Billy

Look, help me get some wood. We need to board ourselves in.

Maggie

All right.

Steve

With what?

Billy

I dunno. Check Gordon's bag or something.

Steve

Well he's not gonna have hammer and nails in there, is he?

[He opens the bag and a hammer and nails fall out]

Oh for fu*k's sake.

Clip 6

Eating several ounces of magic mushrooms before becoming stranded in the middle of nowhere was not one of Steve's better ideas.

Steve

Have I p*ssed myself?

Maggie

What?

Steve

I feel damp.

Maggie

Well, you look all right. I'm not going to touch you.

Steve

Have I p*ssed my pants?

Maggie

I'm just saying I don't think so. What's wrong with you?

Clip 7

Steve's having a bad day. He takes a bite of pie and finds someone else's tooth in it.

Harris

Bit young to be losing your teeth aren't you?

Steve

It's not mine. It's not my tooth.

Richard

Maybe it's just a clove.

Steve

Does it look like a fu*king clove? I'm gonna puke.

Harris

Could it be the cow's tooth?

Steve

A cow with gold fillings? Who made the pie?

Gordon

No, I didn't make it. I found it.

Steve

You what?

Gordom

I found it.

Steve

You found a pie?

Gordon

It was wrapped in foil.

Billy

Oh well that's a relief.

Steve

Jesus. You dirty bastard.

Gordon

I cooked it for the full hour.

Billy

Oh, it had instructions on it?

Gordon

No. But it's a pie.