Thorny, Mac, Rabbit, Foster and Farva are Vermont state troopers out to have a good time. But when budget cuts in the town of Spurbury threaten their livelihood and pit them against arch-rival Spurbury P.D., the five friends try to straighten up and fly right.
Thorny, Mac, Rabbit, Foster and Farva are Vermont state troopers out to have a good time. But when budget cuts in the town of Spurbury threaten their livelihood and pit them against arch-rival Spurbury P.D., the five friends try to straighten up and fly right.
Farva is taking one of his many meal breaks in a local burger joint.
Server
Welcome to Dimpus. Can I take your order?
Farva
Give me a, uh, double bacon cheeseburger.
Server
[Using the microphone to put the order through]
Double baco-cheeseburger. It's for a cop.
Cook
Roger.
Farva
What the hell's that all about? He gonna spit in it now?
Server
Nah. I was just tellin' him that so he makes it good.
[Returning to the microphone]
Don't spit in that cop's burger.
Farva
Yeah, thanks.
Cook
Roger, holding the spit.
Clip 2
Thorny and Rabbit are engaged in a traffic stop.
Thorny
You smell something, Rabbit?
Rabbit
[Sniffs the air]
Fear.
Clip 3
To enliven an otherwise dull day, Mac and Foster decide to amuse themselves with The Cat Game. Larry Johnson is their chosen victim.
Mac
All right, how about 'Cat Game?'
Foster
Cat Game? What's the, what's the record?
Mac
Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.
Foster
Ten? Starting right 'meow?'
Larry
Uh, sorry about that...
Foster
All right meow. Hand over your license and registration. Your registration? Hurry up meow.
Larry
Sorry.
Foster
Is there something funny here boy?
Larry
No. No, no.
Foster
Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson? All right meow, where were we?
Larry
I'm sorry, are you saying meow?
Foster
Am I saying meow?
Larry
I, I, I thought...
Foster
Don't think boy. Meow, do you know how fast you were going? Meow what is so damn funny?
Larry
I could have sworn you said meow.
Foster
Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? Well do you see me eating mice? You stop laughing right meow!
Larry
Yes sir.
Foster
Meow, I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one.
Larry
But...
Foster
No buts meow. It's the law. Not so funny meow, is it? Meow!
Clip 4
The team play an elaborate prank on a trio of stoners they've pulled over. Mac is disguised as a Hillbilly and the boys are locked in a cruiser.
Doper
The snozzberries taste like snozzberries.
Mac
[Emerging from the truck stop, firing a gun into the air]
Wooooooo!
Doper
Oh, sh*t.
Mac
Wooooooo!
Doper
He killed the cops.
Mac
You boys like Mexico? Yeeeeeehaaaaah!
Clip 5
Thorny and his wife are harbouring the German nympho-couple and this leads to some questionable antics.
Thorny's Wife
Mark, can't they just stay a little longer?
Thorny
All right. Who wants a moustache ride?
German Woman
Ooh, I vont one. I vont one.
German Man
I do!
Clip 6
Times may be bad, but the team can always find the funny in any situation.
Captain O'Hagan
What'd you find out at the weigh station?
Mac
My cruiser weights sixteen thousand kilograms.
Thorny
They can't lump us in with that fu*king martian.
Captain O'Hagan
We're all in the same boat, fellas.
Mac
But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun.
Thorny
Yeah, I mean his shenanigans are cruel and tragic.
Foster
Which makes them not shenanigans at all really.
Mac
Evil shenanigans.
Captain O'Hagan
I swear to God I'll pistol-whip the next guy that says shenanigans.
Mac
Hey, Farva. What's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy sh*t on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?
Farva
You mean Shenanigans?
Group
Ooooh!
Clip 7
Some of the team are amusing themselves by firing rounds at each other wearing a bulletproof cup.
Mac
All right, you're up. Now don't get puke on it.
Rabbit
Does it hurt?
Mac
Now you're gonna feel a little pinch.
Foster
Lookin' good, Rabbit. Now don't move.
Mac
Hey, Cap.
Rabbit
Hey, Captain.
Captain O'Hagan
Bulletproof cup, huh? I invented this gag, Rabbit. Only in my day the rookie got naked.
[He takes the gun from MAC and fires it, immediately smashing a window]
And we also used blanks. You're a sick mother fu*ker, Mac.
Mac
Thanks, Chief.
Clip 8
With the aid of a voice changer and a disguise, Ursula plays a cruel trick on Foster who believes he's about to be ass-raped.
Ursula
Freeze, mother fu*ker!
Foster
Oh God. Please don't shoot me, I'm naked.
Ursula
Drop your coat and grab your toes.
Foster
What?
Ursula
I'm gonna show you where the wild goose goes.
Foster
Oh this isn't happening, I, I'm a police officer. Ursula, help!